Cast of PINOCCHIO COMPLEX VERSION, script adapted by J. Jaquish
-Scene numbers are in parentheses to help you assign multiple roles-
Characters in one or a few scenes may be given to an actor not in those scenes, with time for costume change.
Storyteller, an adult Jiminy (all scenes)
Pinocchio ( 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Pinocchio’s body double ( 2 )
Geppetto (1, 2, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 15, 16)
Jiminy Cricket (1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 16)
Wander, Geppetto’s kitten (1, 2, 11, 15, 16)
Herald (can also be Police Chief) (1, 7, 13, 16)
Police Chief (1, 6, 7, 13, 16)
Mayor (1, 7, 13, 16)
Teacher -Prof. Mayonnaise (1, 7, 8, 13, 16)
Farmer (1, 6, 7, 13, 16)
Market Lady (1, 6, 7, 13, 16)
Junk Dealer (1, 6, 7, 13, 16)
Woodcutter (1, )
Fisherman 1- (1, 16)
Fisherman 2- (1, 16)
Fox (1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 16)
Cat (1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 16)
Mother (1, 6, 7, 9, 13, 16)
Tromboni ( 6, 7, 16)
Captain Bombastic, Donkey Driver ( 9, 10, 12, )
Barber ( 5 )
Butcher ( 5 )
Baker ( 5 )
Milkmaid ( 5 )
CHILD CHARACTERS:
Thistle, spoiled child (1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Sky, kind child (1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Beggar Child (1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Acorn (1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Corncob (1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Lampwick (1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Nutmeg (1, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16)
Carriage Donkey, Bad Kid-Donkey 1 ( 9, 10, 12, 16)
Carriage Donkey, Bad Kid-Donkey 2 ( 9, 10, 12, 16)
Carriage Donkey, Bad Kid-Donkey 3 ( 9, 10, 12, 16)
Sea Monster Performers + 1 optional female singer ( 14, )
DANCERS
3 BLIND MICE (dark glasses, canes, bandaged tails - sing and dance during set changes.)
MOUSE 1 - (1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 11, 16)
MOUSE 2 - (1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 11, 16)
MOUSE 3 - (1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 11, 16)
Dancing Puppet #1 ( 7, )
Dancing Puppet #2 ( 7, )
Blue Fairy Cerulia ( 2, 7, 16)
Blue Fairy Azul ( 2, 7, 16)
Blue Fairy Aqua ( 2, 7, 16)
PINOCCHIO
Complex Version
Adapted by Jeannette Jaquish from the original by Carlo Collodi
(c) 2016 Jeannette Jaquish www.theaterfunscripts.com MUSIC FILES available
Permission must be given by copyright owner before performing.
Any music used in Pinocchio recorded by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
is Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Legal requirements: Tech Notes at end of script.
# 56 Pre-Show Classical (5:43)
______# 01 MUSIC: “Bright Wish” (0:40) Kevin MacLeod
SCENE 1: GEPPETTO BUYS A LOG
(The Town. Shops across the stage: School, Junk Dealer Shop, Market Lady Shop, Geppetto’s Shop on the end, if possible with a door that opens. A large trash bin with trash littered around it, at the side.)
( THREE BLIND MICE ENTER and sing and dance. )
# 02 MUSIC: “THREE BLIND MICE” (0:33)
(MICE enter tapping canes, blind, 14 seconds then sing)
Three blind mice, Three blind mice, (each bends knees on one word)
Welcome you, People to, (sweep cane up, gesture other arm across)
The story of a wooden boy ( march forward)
Who found temptation hard to avoid, (march backward )
We truly hope that you will enjoy, ( plant cane down in front with hands on top)
Pinocchio! (knee bend on “noc”, MICE EXIT tapping cane)
STORYTELLER (enters chasing MICE who crash into things and each other EXITING):
Shoo shoo shoo! Gee Whilikers! I apologize, gentle people, for the singing rodents.
I hope you have all had your shots. Welcome to ____________________’s production of --
POLICE CHIEF (ENTERS running with a big net) - There was a report of Vocalizing Vermin! Very Un-Natural! Which way did they go?
STORYTELLER [points the wrong way] - They went that-a-way!
POLICE CHIEF - I see them! Stop! -- You musical mouses!
[POLICE CHIEF EXITS on the run. STORYTELLER winks at the audience.]
STORYTELLER - Where was I? Oh, yes! The Story of Pinocchio!
Our tale begins in the Town of BadLuckia, on the shore of the NonSpecific Ocean.
[BEGGAR CHILD ENTERS, and a moment later, ENTER POLICE CHIEF looking around for mice]
_________# 03 MUSIC: “BadLuckia – Hobnobbit, by Kevin MacLeod (0:25)
STORYTELLER - A deadly dull, tedious, timeless, torpid little town,
BEGGAR CHILD: Pardon me? [MUSIC STOPS!] Spare a coin for a hungry child?
STORYTELLER: Hmm... Here is one copper coin for a hungry child, and I have 5 more --
POLICE CHIEF: Begging! That’s illegal! Come here you little criminal!
STORYTELLER: Good day, Mr. Chief of Police, but this child and I are conducting a business transaction.
POLICE CHIEF: Business transaction?
STORYTELLER: We are just agreeing on a price to straighten up those garbage cans over there. [to the child] 5 copper, I mean 5 silver coins?
BEGGAR CHILD: [happily saluting] Agreed! [straightens trash cans]
POLICE: Oh, well, business. That’s fine. (to the child as he passes) You pay tax on that, you hear?
BEGGAR CHILD: Yes, sir! (saluting)
STORYTELLER - Now where was I? Oh, yes! [snaps fingers - MUSIC STARTS AGAIN]
Town of Badluckia, -- blah blah blah -- on the shore of the Non-Specific Ocean.
[Junk Dealer, Market Lady and Teacher come out of shops and School, open shutters, turn “closed” signs to “open”, sweep, greet each other, etc. TOWNFOLK ENTER -THISTLE & SKY tugging their MOTHER who stops to speak with MARKET LADY,
LAMPWICK sauntering, offers some stolen item to the JUNK DEALER, they dicker and make the sale,
FARMER carrying basket of produce, sells to MARKET LADY]
STORYTELLER - A deadly dull, tedious, timeless, torpid little town, steeped in the tradition of traditions.
Here you see the school, shops and shopkeepers, selling many time-tested and traditional goods and services. All normal! Guaranteed!
And over yonder, you see the Toy Shop of the kindly old Toymaker Geppetto. Take a listen and you will hear him working.
(MUSIC ENDS. We hear momentary hammering and singing from the toy shop. )
GEPPETTO’S VOICE: Along came a blaaackbird and bit off her nose!
ALL THE CHILDREN [running to Geppetto’s Shop] - Geppetto! What are you making today?
GEPPETTO’S VOICE [or opens window and looks out] - Come back later and see!
ACORN - Later? Ahhhh...
NUTMEG - I hope it is a doll house.
SKY - I hope it is a train set.
THISTLE - I hope it’s a bow and arrows.
BEGGAR - I hope it’s cheap!
LAMPWICK - You sissies! Real trains and real weapons are better.
[offers the pipe he chews on] Wanna smoke?
ALL KIDS (except Thistle, Sky & Nutmeg) - Uh, no thanks. [ walk away awkwardly]
THISTLE - Well, maybe one puff!
SKY - Mother!
MOTHER - Thistle! Come back here!
[THISTLE goes to Mother.]
LAMPWICK (to SKY) - Tattletale.
SKY [to Lampwick] - Troublemaker.
[LAMPWICK stomps his foot and SKY scampers back to his mother.]
NUTMEG - My mother says you are going to wind up in jail, Lampwick! [walks away]
LAMPWICK - Eh! Stupid girl.
STORYTELLER - People in Badluckia are like people anywhere.
Which include, unfortunately, the scoundrels. (ENTER FOX and CAT)
Oh, and speaking of: Here come the Mayor and Chief of Police! [ENTER POLICE, HERALD & MAYOR ]
HERALD (toot horn): Hear ye! Hear ye! The Mayor of Our Town of BadLuckia has a musical message for his devoted citizens!
# 04 MUSIC - “Keep Things the Same” (0:55)
to the tune of “Blow the Man Down”, a traditional Sea Chantey
(During song, the FOX and CAT try to pick a few pockets, and also sing along.)
MAYOR: Hear me all people who live in this town,
ALL: Yo ho! Keep things the same!
MAYOR: Our good old traditions are proper and sound,
ALL: Yo ho! Keep things the same!
POLICE CHIEF: Beware of new people who come from afar,
ALL: Yo ho! Keep things the same!
POLICE CHIEF: Inventing strange things like the phone and the car,
ALL: Yo ho! Keep things the same!
TEACHER: We don’t like new people, their clothes or their hair,
ALL: Yo ho! Keep things the same!
TEACHER: Our Town has the best food and styles anywhere,
ALL: Yo ho! Keep things the same! Music ends.
ALL: Hooray!
[SOMEONE can exit now, and return as the WOODCUTTER.]
MOTHER: Mr. Mayor! If our town is the best, why are the children always sick?
FARMER: Why do my cows give sour milk?
MARKET LADY: Why did the wind blow my roof off?
JUNK DEALER: Mr. Mayor! Didn’t YOUR family come from across the Non-Specific Ocean?
MAYOR: No more questions! I am very busy. Who is going to invite me to dinner?
[TOWNFOLK shove each other out of the way to get MAYOR’s attention.]
MOTHER: Come to my house. I’m cooking lamb chops and Pickled Peppers!
MARKET LADY: Come to my bungalow. We’re having Blackbird pie and Green Bean Ice Cream!
TEACHER: Come to my chateau. My cook is making Beetle Biscuits and Figgy Pudding.
[A rowdy argument breaks out. The MAYOR is delighted.]
(ENTER WOOD CUTTER pulling wagon with THE LOG and JIMINY CRICKET.
JIMINY CRICKET jumps off the wagon, and hops to Center.)
STORYTELLER: Every person had a job in the Town of BadLuckia. Here comes the Woodcutter. Oh, but look who caught a ride on the Woodcutter’s wagon! It’s a little mischievous cricket. But this is a special kind of cricket. This cricket can . . . .
JIMINY: Leapin’ Lizards! Hello, Everybody! I heard music! Is this a sing-a-long?
EVERYONE (turn to see and point): A talking cricket!!!
MAYOR: Arrest that strange insect!
JIMINY: Yikes! I’m in a perilous pickle! (runs around and through crowd, chased by Police Chief) Look out! Excuse me! Coming thru! Whoops! Sorry! If you don’t mind -- ! (etc.)
POLICE CHIEF: Come back here, you Cricket Criminal!
(POLICE CHIEF chases JIMINY thru the crowd in a funny chase.
BEGGAR CHILD and SKY: Run little cricket ! Run!
THISTLE: Stomp on him!
STORYTELLER: Geppetto, came out of his shop to see what the hub-bub was about.
(GEPPETTO comes out of his shop and goes DownStage to where FOX and CAT are.
FOX will try to get behind Geppetto to pick his pocket.
JIMINY hides and POLICE & HERALD hunt quietly with THISTLE pointing. )
GEPPETTO: Excuse me, my Good Fellow, Who are the police chasing?
FOX: A talking cricket. A strange freak of nature. Very dangerous.
GEPPETTO: Forgive me for pointing it out, but you are a talking fox.
(CAT tries to pick GEPPETTO’s pocket)
FOX: Yes. But I am French. (French chuckle)
(GEPPETTO turns suddenly and CAT pulls back his pickpocketing paw.)
CAT: And I am Pig Latin. Oink! Wee wee!
GEPPETTO (not comprehending the near theft): Oh.
WOODCUTTER (carrying log): Good day, Master Geppetto!
GEPPETTO: Good day, Master Woodcutter.
WOODCUTTER: See here, I have found a fine piece of wood.
GEPPETTO (picks up log): Is that so? Oh, would that that wood is not full of knots!
NEARBY TOWNFOLK: [laugh]
STORYTELLER: While Geppetto inspected the wood, the little Beggar Child tricked the Police Chief.
BEGGAR CHILD: Mr. Police Chief! The cricket hopped over there! (points off stage. Chief goes.)
STORYTELLER: And Sky, the kind child, helped the cricket escape!
SKY: Hide in Geppetto’s house, little cricket!
( opens Geppetto’s door and gestures for JIMINY CRICKET to go inside.)
GEPPETTO: Oh yes! What smooth grain and beautiful color. This is carving wood.
STORYTELLER: The Woodcutter wanted to make the sale. He gave Geppetto some ideas.
WOODCUTTER: You could carve a beautiful angel, or doll, or puppet. . .
(At the word “Puppet” the log “jumps” in GEPPETTO’S hands )
GEPPETTO: Whoops! The log jumped when you said “Puppet”!
THISTLE (yelling and pointing): The log jumped! Geppetto said that the log JUMPED!
TOWNFOLK (jump back afraid): The log JUMPED???
JUNK DEALER: It’s bewitched.
MARKET LADY: Wood spirits! Beware!!!
GEPPETTO: Oh, no, I was making a joke. Trying to trick my friend, Master Woodcutter.
TOWNFOLK (laugh, ad lib) : That Geppetto! What a joker! So silly...
STORYTELLER: The log really did jump. But Geppetto loved it immediately. The tattletale’s mother was embarrassed.
MOTHER (pulls THISTLE by the hand): Thistle! Be quiet! You are a nosy child with no manners.
THISTLE (struggling): Geppetto did say it jumped. I heard him!
SKY [goes to THISTLE]: Oh, Thistle! Geppetto was just being funny! [goes to Geppetto] What are you going to make from the log, Master Geppetto?
GEPPETTO (paying WOODCUTTER): What will I make? Good question, Sky.
Hmmm... I am very lonely because I have no wife or children. I think I will make a little wooden puppet boy. Whoops! (He obviously tosses it into the air.)
There he goes again!
TOWN FOLK: Ha ha ha ha. (ad lib) Funny Old Geppetto!... “There he goes again”.... I believed him the first time.
GEPPETTO: I will start carving my new puppet boy right now! (EXITS into his house.)
STORYTELLER: The Mother thought Geppetto should make useful things, not toys.
MOTHER: Why does Geppetto waste his time making puppets and twirling tops?
MAYOR: Dancing clowns and Jack-in-the-boxes?
[CHILDREN move DownStage Center]
WOODCUTTER: What we need are stools,
and buckets for milking the cow.
TEACHER: Tables and chairs for schools.
MARKET LADY: Wooden yokes to pull the plow.
JUNK DEALER: Wooden handles for shovels and tools.
POLICE CHIEF: And paddles to spank (clap!)--
ALL CHILDREN (jumping and covering their behinds): Ow Ow Ow!
POLICE CHIEF: -- children who break the rules!
SKY: But children need toys to have fun!
BEGGAR CHILD: Geppetto’s shop is Number One!
ALL THE CHILDREN: Hooray for Geppetto!
# 05 MUSIC: “Pop Goes the Weasel “ (0:49) -- Traditional children’s song, adapted for this play
EVERYONE sings “Pop goes the weasel”
CHILDREN SING:
All around Geppetto’s shop,
The monkey chased the weasel,
The monkey thought ‘twas all in fun
POP! Goes the weasel; [Two actors can exit now to become Fishermen]
WOMEN SING:
A penny for a spool of thread,
A penny for a needle,
Geppetto’s making silly clothes,
POP goes the weasel!
MEN SING:
What we need are spoons and bowls ,
And medicine for the measles,
Geppetto makes monkeys and dolls,
POP Goes the weasel!
ALL SING:
A penny for a spool of thread,
A penny for a needle,
Geppetto’s making silly clothes,
POP goes the weasel!
(ENTER bedraggled FISHERMEN stumbling or crawling onstage.)
FISHERMEN 1 & 2: Help! Help!
ALL: What happened?
FISHERMAN 1: We were fishing in our boat!
FISHERMAN 2: Up rose a monster shark!
FISHERMAN 1: It opened up its mouth and throat!
FISHERMAN 2: Its teeth were long and sharp!
FISHERMAN 1: It’s mouth closed down around us!
The water almost drowned us!
FISHERMAN 2: But then he burped and out we flew!
And swam and crawled back home to you!
(They collapse exhausted.)
MOTHER, MARKET LADY, JUNK DEALER (ad lib): Oh, poor things! Come home with us and we will feed you. (They help the fishermen up and help them limp away, ad lib comfort offering foods. - EXIT.)
JUNK DEALER - I have a codfish pie in the oven; I’ll give you a big slice. (EXIT)
MAYOR: Hey! What about me! I’m hungry! This is a travesty of justice! A catastrophe of lunch!
I demand that this Abnormal Sea Creature -- I call him Sharkanto! -- be destroyed!
And the person to do it is . . . . (points his finger and turns around, deciding who to point at. . .
EVERYBODY EXITS running ahead of the approaching finger.)
Oh, Fooey! (EXITS.)
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
# 06 MUSIC: SNEAKY SNITCH (2:13)
Dance by 3 BLIND MICE
SET CHANGE: To Geppetto’s Shop.
Room has a skinny long work table, Geppetto’s bed, a fireplace or wood stove with “a fire”.
On side tables: Pinocchio’s nose affixed to glasses, and a can of nails.
Another side location is Pinocchio’s hat perhaps with hair attached.
Another side table or the fireplace mantle has a violin or musical instrument, it will not be played. Another spot: a music box or old fashioned record player or a toy that supposedly makes music. At the side also is breakfast: in a bowl and cup with utensils.
A portable old fashioned wood coat or hat stand with Geppetto’s hat and winter coat hanging on it. On the table are lots of clutter and tools, including a paintbrush, knife, “sandpaper”, string, open jar of red washable paint.
Two chairs are at the work table, one upstage one between table and Geppetto’s’s bed.
A place for Jiminy Cricket to nap at the back side.
Wooden headless Pinocchio body sits on work bench or table -- a body actor with jacket buttoned above his head.
Pinocchio’s head sits on one end of table (a hole in the table for actor to stick head thru, or on top of a box that has an open back and a neck hole, so he can lean forward on his elbows into the box and his head is thru hole. We do not see his body underneath the table because the table is draped with work tablecloths or has fake drawers.
Geppetto’s bed can be a real bed or a blanket and pillow on the floor. He wears a large wide work jacket, un- buttoned so when he stretches his arms wide, the coat opens wide.
On side table: Pinocchio’s glasses and nose, can of nails. On fireplace or side shelf: his hair and hat.
Scene 2: Geppetto’s Shop
[Long skinny work table, Pinocchio’s already painted head on one end (actor sticks head up through hole in table and slit in cloth) and body of puppet at center of table, sitting in a position so he can quickly slide off on the upstage side. The body double has his head inside his shirt, awkwardly positioned to hide neck opening from audience. What happens: Geppetto works on the head. He wears a big wide unbuttoned jacket that hides a lot when he spreads his arms.
Geppetto goes elsewhere on stage and unseen picks up fake head and attaches to his belly with Velcro with his back to the audience, walks to Pinocchio’s head and pretends to pick it up as the actor ducks thru the hole in the table (the slit cloth closes by itself) and Geppetto instead pulls the fake head from his belly and carries it across the room, steps on Wander’s tail - she screeches and jumps up and scratches at Geppetto’s hands causing him to drop the head. He picks it up, scolds the cat, walks over to the body double puppet on the table,
spreads his elbows as if adjusting the head (the body double actor rolls off, the Pinocchio actor under the table, climbs on assuming the same pose) meanwhile, his back to the audience, Geppetto dabs his index finger in red paint, steps back to admire his puppet body and head attached, then discovers that the cat scratch is bleeding. Scolds Wander and starts to reach for a towel, stops and paints a heart on Pinocchio’s bare wooden chest. Buttons Pinocchio’s shirt (with an absorbent lining) and with an impulse of love, hugs Pinocchio whose arms flop over Geppetto’s shoulders and his eyes blink open and then shut, unseen by Geppetto.
An trickier option, described below in the scene, is to have two head holes, one on either side of the table, and move Pinocchio’s head from one to the other, first already painted, then to the other end of the table to get his nose, glasses and hair, then dropped, then onto the body, with a switcheroo to the full Pinocchio actor.
As the scene opens, Geppetto is painting Pinocchio’s head. Pinocchio’s head does not have its nose, glasses, hat and perhaps not even hair. You can create this look by putting a nylon stocking over the actor’s head. You can use a styrofoam wig head painted skin tone for Geppetto to carry and drop.
You can also just skip all this head switching and simply have the sitting Pinocchio get “painted”, receive his nose, glasses, hat and hair without moving, and have Geppetto get scratched without dropping the head.
JIMINY sleeps opposite side of Geppetto. Room has a tall object (hat rack, shelves), knife, fire, nails, food, drink, jug, cup.]
STORYTELLER: Geppetto got out his carving knives, tools, sand paper and paint. He carved that wonderful log into a body, head, arms and legs. He sewed a little costume and connected strings to a crosspiece. He sanded and painted late into the night, by candlelight.
GEPPETTO (finishing painting with dry brush): This is good work, Geppetto! Just a little touchup. Ah, beautiful! Now for your features.
[GEPPETTO stands downstage of Pinocchio’s head, spreads his elbows causing his coat to open wide blocking the audience’s view, then he “picks up head”, actually carrying nothing. The Pinn-actor ducks under table. Gepp “carries” the non-existent head by shuffling sideways to other side of table as the Pinocchio actor follows under the table and pops up head thru hole #2 as Geppetto “sets down” the “head”.]
GEPPETTO: Now to sand your head smooth. [Sands actor’s head with smooth paper as :]
SOUND FX: SANDING
GEPPETTO: Now for your nose and eyes!
STORYTELLER: Geppetto was so busy, he didn’t notice the stray kitten Wander come in.
[Walks over to get glasses-nose.
ENTER WANDER who sits on cat rug just DS of Geppetto. The rug helps the cat be in the right spot.
Geppetto puts nose-glasses on Pinocchio’s head whose eyes stay closed. ]
GEPPETTO: Now for your hat and hair!
[Geppetto Blocks View and is handed fake head which now has a nose and glasses also. Pinocchio ducks.
Carrying the head, Geppetto turns and steps on Wander’s tail.]
WANDER: Me-OUCH! [scratches at Geppetto’s hand. Geppetto drops the head.]
GEPPETTO - Wander! OUCH! You scratched me! Did I step on your tail? Poor Kitty. When did you come in? I haven’t seen you for days . .
[Pats kitten’s head, brushes dust off puppet head.
Picks up hat & hair and goes to Body Double. Blocks View of Body Double. Hands fake head down over top of body double.
Holds hat & hair up as if adjusting the head, as Body Double rolls off, and Pinocchio climbs on, assuming the same pose. Geppetto puts hat and hair on Pinocchio-actor.]
GEPPETTO: “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you,”
How does the rest of that go? “If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you” . . . hmmm hmmm hmmm Oh! No one doubts Geppetto!
[Hands empty, hidden, Geppetto dabs his finger in red paint, steps back to admire his puppet]
Oh! He’s wonderful! Whoops, I’m bleeding! Wander, see what you did! Oh Geppetto! Be careful! Don’t get blood on your new -- Huh!? That’s an idea!
[Paints a heart on Pinocchio’s bare wooden chest. ]
GEPPETTO : Oh, look, I’ve given you a heart! [wipes finger on a rag, buttons Pinocc’s shirt] Use it in good health, my friend! Ha Ha!
[With an impulse of love, hugs Pinocchio whose arms flop over Geppetto’s shoulders and his eyes blink open, unseen by Geppetto.
Pinocchio has a painted smile, his mouth stays closed. His eyes only stare.]
GEPPETTO: Ah! He is finished! Just attach the strings. [hair elastics on long elastic strings attached to a cross piece] My little wooden boy . . . what should I name him? Hmmmm. . . Waldo? No. Bonker? No. What should I name him?
WANDER: Meow?
GEPPETTO: Name him Meow? He is not a kitty-cat like you, Wander! Free to roam. You would not be happy with strings on. [dangles strings for kitten] Did you come, to see Old Geppetto because you were hungry and want a soft pillow to sleep on? Would you like a bowl of milk?
WANDER: MEOW!
GEPPETTO: Okey-dokey, one bowl of milk.... Okey-dokey? (looks back at Pinocchio) Noooo...
(pretends to pour bowl of milk and set on floor while talking)
Out all night chasing mice, sleeping all day in the sun. You live a fine life, Wander. I think I will cut a pretty bow for you to wear. What color would you like? Red or blue or . . . pink?
WANDER: MEOW!
GEPPETTO: Pink? Okey-dokey! -- Pink! Okey-dokey? That’s it! Pinocchio! It’s perfect! Thank you, Wander, for helping me to name my new puppet boy.
WANDER (laps milk)
GEPPETTO: Your paint is dry. Your strings are attached. On your feet, Pinocchio!
(GEPPETTO operates the crosspiece with elastic strings to PINOCCHIO’s arms and feet.
GEPPETTO holds the cross piece above Pinocchio. If Geppetto is too short, put a long handle on it. PINOCCHIO jumps up. WANDER the cat scampers about. JIMINY wakes or comes out of hiding to watch.)
Wander, play us some music! No, not on the violin, you Silly Tiger. On the record player!
(WANDER “starts” the record player.)
And now you can join us my pretty kitty! Pinocchio will play the clumsy Hansel and you will play the graceful Gretel!
_____# 07 MUSIC: “Brother, Come and Dance With Me” SHORT (0:30)
_____# 08 MUSIC: “Brother, Come and Dance With Me” LONG (1:24)
by Humperdinck, performed by Pamela Ferguson
(GEPPETTO sings along with the voice on the music. WANDER play- dances with PINOCCHIO.)
GEPPETTO [singing]:
Brother, Come and dance with me; (Pinocchio clumsily bows, tilts head to look)
It’s so easy, can’t you see?
Right foot first, Left foot then; (Clumsily does dance steps.)
Round about and back again;
With your foot you tap tap tap, (PINNOCHIO and WANDER dance.)
With your hands you clap clap clap,
Right foot first, Left foot then;
Round about and back again;
GEPPETTO: Now bow and curtsey, my little dears.
(WANDER has had enough. She meows, runs in a circle and back to GEPPETTO. GEPPETTO lays down the puppet strings and PINOCCHIO flops down on the floor, as GEPPETTO pets WANDER.)
GEPPETTO: Ha ha ha! What a smart little kitten you are. But now [yawn!] it is bed time.
Look, the first star!
(walks to imaginary window, facing the audience)
Star light, Star bright, The first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight!
I wish my Pinocchio was a real boy.
Oh, I am a foolish old man, just like they say.
To bed, Wander! To bed, Pinocchio!
(GEPPETTO either lifts Pinocchio onto the table again or puppet-strings him to jump up there.)
Yawn! Good night.
(Goes to sleep in bed. Perhaps pretends to blow out candle.)
(DARKNESS)
(-- CHOOSE LONG or SHORT versions of Mysteriosa:)
#08 MUSIC: “Mysteriosa-MEDIUM” (0:32)
(numbers are time code in seconds on music)
0 - 18: Blue light of Blue Fairies’ wands as they enter B, dancing and twirling wands at Pinocchio.
Fairies unhook strings from Pinocchio,
18 : WANDER, JIMINY and PINOCCHIO each sleepwalk rise and take hands of a Fairy,
THEY sleepwalk dance with fairies.
to 32: (Music Stops) and then WANDER, Jiminy and Pinocchio flop down asleep.
Re-attach Pinocchio’s strings.
End : FAIRIES curtsey.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
#MUSIC - “Mysteriosa - LONG” (1:24) (numbers are time code in seconds on music)
0 - 10: Darkness
10 - 18: Blue light of Blue Fairies’ wands as they enter B, dancing. searching
18 - 32: They discover Pinocchio and circle him
32 - 48 : Fairies remove strings from Pinocchio’s wrists and feet and all three take turns dancing.
(Boom, Oboe)
48 - 1:02 : Dance: Two fairies take his hands and dance with him, while other fairy points wand
(They take turns each dancing with Pinocchio and then spinning him to the next fairy)
(Boom Boom)
1:02 - 1:10 - One dances with Pinocchio while the other 2 fairies enchant Jiminy and Wander and dance with them.
1:10 -1:32 - All dancing.
(glockenspiel)
1:47 Geppetto walks across, slowly sleepwalking with arms straight out. Fairies and Pinocchio scamper out of his way as he stumbles across to pour a glass of water, drink it, and stumble back to bed.
(Woodwind)
2:16:
(gong)
PINOCCHIO, JIMINY and WANDER go back and fall asleep.
FAIRIES Re-attach Pinocchio’s strings.
End 2:47 : FAIRIES bow.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
BLUE FAIRIES: Pinocchio? Pinocchio? Wake up?
PINOCCHIO (waking up): Hello! Who are you?
CERULIA: We are the Blue Fairies. I am Cerulia.
AZUL: I am Azul.
AQUA: I am Aqua.
PINOCCHIO: Who am I?
CERULIA: You are Pinocchio. Geppetto wished for you to become a real boy.
PINOCCHIO: I am a real boy?
AZUL: No, not yet. First you have to prove yourself to be good, brave and unselfish.
AQUA: And always do right and never wrong.
PINOCCHIO: What is Do-Right and Never-Wrong?
CERULIA: Oh, dear!
AZUL: He never learned right from wrong!
AQUA: He needs a conscience
PINOCCHIO: What is a conscience?
BLUE FAIRIES: Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!!!
JIMINY CRICKET (jumping up): I’ll tell you what a conscience is! It is the small but noisy voice you hear in your head and in your heart that tells you when you are being selfish or mean.
CERULIA: I think we have found Pinocchio’s conscience!
AZUL: Congratulations, Sir Cricket!
AQUA: Do you accept the job of being Pinocchio’s Conscience?
JIMINY: What? A Conscience? That’s a big important job! I have to think about it.
_________ #11 MUSIC: Rooster Crow
BLUE FAIRIES: There’s no time! Yes or No?
JIMINY: Uh, uh, uh, Yes!
BLUE FAIRIES (bopping him on the head with their wands): Congratulations and Good Luck! (EXIT.)
JIMINY (worried): Oh, boy!
PINOCCHIO: Good bye, Flu Berries!
JIMINY: Um, Pinocchio? Their name is pronounced “Blue Fairies”.
PINOCCHIO: Blue Fairies. And you are My Conscience.
JIMINY: So it seems. My name is Jiminy. Jiminy Cricket. [extends hand]
PINOCCHIO [his whole body bounces while he shakes hands]: Jiminy Cricket! You are going to help me Do Right and Never Wrong! Let’s go!
(PINOCCHIO jumps up and stumbles across getting tangled up in his strings.)
JIMINY: Whoaa! Calm down, Pinocchio! You don’t want to wake up Geppetto!
PINOCCHIO: Wheee! This is fun!
JIMINY: Shush! Pinocchio! You’re starting out on the wrong foot!
PINOCCHIO: OK! (hops on the right foot) Now I’m on the right foot!
(hopping left right left right) Wrong foot, right foot, wrong foot, right foot.
(GEPPETTO wakes up, scared. Grabs a big wooden mallet or weapon. Will advance ready to hit.)
JIMINY: This going to be a shock for the old fellow.
PINOCCHIO: What old fellow?
JIMINY: Geppetto! Your father!
GEPPETTO (mallet raised over his head ready for a powerful strike): Gaaasp!!! (freezes in shock)
JIMINY: Yikes! I’d better cast some light on this subject!
(JIMINY brings the candle closer so GEPPETTO can see.)
Pinocchio, this is Geppetto.
PINOCCHIO: Geppetto?
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio?
JIMINY: I’ll just let you two get acquainted. [Retreats to watch, smiling.]
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio! You are a real boy!
PINOCCHIO: Not yet! First I have to be good, brave and unselfish. That’s what the Blue Fairies said.
GEPPETTO [pulling off the strings]: Fairies? They granted my wish! I have a little boy! He has a wooden head, but he can talk and think.
PINOCCHIO: And walk! Look at me go! [takes a tumble]
GEPPETTO: Good try, my son, but you are just born; you need someone to teach you. Give me your hands.
PINOCCHIO: Oh, no, I just got them. [puts his hands behind him]
GEPPETTO: I mean let me hold your hands to help you stand up.
PINOCCHIO: OK! Here!
GEPPETTO: Up we go! Steady, now, right foot , left foot, right foot, left foot.
PINOCCHIO: Right foot, wrong foot, right foot , wrong foot.
GEPPETTO: Now try it by yourself.
PINOCCHIO: Look! I’m walking!
GEPPETTO: Wonderful! Can you turn around? --- Hop? -- Stand on one foot?
[PINOCCHIO puts one foot on top of the other. Tips over. Geppetto catches him.]
GEPPETTO: My first born takes things very literally. My first born, my child, my son! I can hardly believe it. Do you understand? Pinocchio, I am your Father!
PINOCCHIO: Father? How do I be good, brave and unselfish? So I can be a real boy.
GEPPETTO: Well, that is a good question. Hmm, Maybe you should go to school!
PINOCCHIO: School? OK!
GEPPETTO: School! Oh, my! You’ll need schoolbooks and a warm coat and tuition, (pulls pockets inside out) but I have no money.
PINOCCHIO: Father?
GEPPETTO: Yes, Pinocchio?
PINOCCHIO: Why does it hurt right here? (clutches his stomach)
GEPPETTO: Oh, poor boy, you are hungry. I will make you breakfast. You have to eat before going to school. Sit down over here.
[PINOCCHIO does not know how to sit on a chair, and tries various ways.]
GEPPETTO - Oh, my goodness. See Pinocchio, you put your wooden behind on this wooden seat.
Here are some peach slices, a bowl of porridge and a glass of milk. You eat this and be a good boy. Do you know how to be a good boy?
[PINOCCHIO has no idea how to eat or how to pick up a bowl, spoon or deal with liquid in a cup, but he is creative in his efforts. For instance he can pick up the spoon backwards with both hands, press down on one side of the bowl so it tips, stick a finger down the cup, while closely looking at them, and all while climbing all over the chair and table.]
JIMINY: I’ll help him be a good boy! I am Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio’s conscience. The Blue Fairies said so!
GEPPETTO: A cricket for a conscience? Well, that is more than what most people have.
Where is my coat? Oh, Wander! -- sleeping on my coat. Get off, little cat.
WANDER (stretching): Meoooow! Fssst!
GEPPETTO: (Brushing off fur.) I’ll be right back, Pinocchio and Mr. Jiminy Conscience Cricket.
(Puts on coat and EXITS. WANDER zips out also.]
JIMINY: Goodbye! -- Say “Goodbye”, Pinocchio.
PINOCCHIO: Goodbye, Pinocchio! Jiminy, how do I eat?
JIMINY: Use this spoon or your fingers, and put all this into your mouth, chew it up and swallow.
PINOCCHIO: OK! (he bites the bowl and spoon before tasting the food.) Mmm! I like this. It . . . um...
JIMINY: Tastes?
PINOCCHIO: Tastes good!
(Gobbles food, as if he’s never been fed before - which he hasn’t. JIMINY picks up a bit of food to eat it and PINOCC grabs it away and eats it)
JIMINY: Save some for your father, Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO: I’m hungry. (continues eating with both hands)
JIMINY: I’ll just set some aside for Geppetto.
(JIMINY takes a bowl of food to the end of the table. PINOCCHIO runs over and gobbles it.)
JIMINY: Pinocchio, you are being selfish.
PINOCCHIO (lets food drop from mouth and hand to the floor, points to tall shelves or coat rack):
Jiminy? What is up there ? I’m going to climb up and see. [tries to climb it]
JIMINY: No No! It might tip over! [catches it just in time, stands it up]
PINOCCHIO: I want to play with that knife. [tossing it up]
JIMINY: No No No! Pinocchio, Be careful. [catching it, puts it back]
PINOCCHIO: OK. Are those nails? Do they taste good? [runs to can of nails, puts a handful in his mouth]
JIMINY: No! Spit those out! [grabs can and picks up nails]
PINOCCHIO: Is that fire? I’m going to smell it. [flops to hands and knees leans into fireplace]
JIMINY: Eeeek! [throws can of nails in the air, runs to Pinocchio]
No No, Pinocchio! You are made of wood, and wood burns!
[Pulls him out and starts a COUGHING FIT.]
Oh! Smoke makes me cough!
[Yells:] Stop! [cough cough] Sit down and eat your breakfast!
PINOCCHIO: OK. [happily sits down and eats]
[JIMINY breathes a sigh of relief and sits in chair, rests head on table, as coughing subsides.]
GEPPETTO (ENTERS with coins, books tied securely with a belt, and coat, but he is shivering with no coat.)
Hello, Pinocchio and Jiminy. Oh, look, everything is just fine. I was worried for nothing.
JIMINY (sarcastic): Yeah, you’re welcome. (yawn) I’m just gonna catch a few more winks ... Zzzzzz..
GEPPETTO: Are you through with breakfast, Pinocchio? Come here, put on your jacket.
PINOCCHIO: Father? Where is YOUR COAT?
GEPPETTO (shivering): It was too hot. Here are your books and give these coins to the teacher. Hurry, hurry! (steps out the door, or goes downstage) Look! There is the school, far down the road. Hurry! Don’t be late. Obey the teacher! [kisses him on the head] Goodbye!
PINOCCHIO: Goodbye!
(PINOCCHIO EXITS running. GEPPETTO sighs, sits down at table with chin on hands.)
GEPPETTO: I’m a father!
JIMINY [waking up]: Hey! Where’s Pinocchio? I’m his conscience! [Runs EXIT after Pinocchio.]
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
________ #12 MUSIC: “Amazing Plan” (1:27) Dance by 3 BLIND MICE
[SET CHANGE to TOWN/FIELD OF DREAMS.]
SCENE 3: SMOOTH OPERATORS
[TOWN. Set pieces can be reversible: Houses with trees behind - Flipside is trees with houses behind. The garbage bin is back. This must be large enough to hold JIMINY. It needs a hinged lid or a separate lid and air holes. The trick in this scene and the end of “The Penniless Boy Returns” is to show the danger of being put into a closed container without making it look fun.]
STORYTELLER [with personal feeling]: Remember those scoundrels I mentioned, that every town has? Well, you are sure to meet some in your life, so watch out for them. They pretend to be your best friend, they want things from you, and they have an excuse for everyth-- Oh, here they come! Watch! See for yourself!
[FOX ENTERS followed by CAT]
CAT [2 quarters in each paw]: One Dollar??? You said we’d split it 50-50!
FOX (-pointing): Fifty cents and Fifty cents IS 50-50.
PINOCCHIO [ENTER wearing coat, carrying books, flipping a coin]: Wooo - yup! Woooo-yup!
[FOX & CAT instantly turn to look. ENTER JIMINY running. ]
JIMINY: Pinocchio! Wait for me! Stop tossing that coin! If you lose it you can’t pay the teacher.
PINOCCHIO: But it’s fun! I won’t -- Ooops! [drops it and runs to pick it up]
JIMINY: I told you so! [pantomime silently scolding Pinocchio, still out of breath]
FOX: Do you see what I see?
CAT: I do!
JIMINY: Oh, no! We are going to be late, unless we run! I’ll race you!
PINOCCHIO: OK!
JIMINY: On your mark, get set, GO! -- Woo-hoo! The Cricket is out of the gates! He’s flying!
[JIMINY runs faster. As PINOCCHIO passes, the FOX snags him.]
FOX: I say, my fine fellow! How do you do?
PINOCCHIO: How do I do what? Run? Like this! [starts to run but FOX grabs the back of his shirt, causing Pinocchio to run in a circle around a spinning Fox.]
FOX: I say, what are those shiny things you were tossing?
PINOCCHIO: These? These are called coins. See? Aren’t they pretty! [FOX and CAT stare in delight]
My father sold his coat to get these. He told me to give them to my teacher.
FOX: Your father sold his coat! Oh, the poor man! He must be freezing!
CAT: Shivering!
FOX: Frostbite!
CAT: Icicle sickness.
FOX & CAT: He might DIE!!!
PINOCCHIO: Oh, no! [turns to run back] I’m going to give back the coins!
FOX: Whoa! Come back, my fine little man. Do you really want to help your father?
PINOCCHIO: I sure do!
FOX: What luck that we should meet. I am Flexible T. Fox, and this is Clumsy R. Cat.
PINOCCHIO: I’m Pinocchio. How can I help my father?
FOX: Come closer. There is a secret magical place called the Field of Dreams. If you plant a few coins,
CAT: And go away and come back later. . .
FOX: They grow into a huge money tree, sparkling with shiny new coins.
PINOCCHIO: Shiny new coins. Wow!!
CAT: 100 times what you planted! So many coins you need a basket to catch them as they fall. Just grab the trunk and shake shake shake! [CAT playfully shakes PINOCCHIO whose arms flop.]
PINOCCHIO: Ha ha ha ha!
JIMINY [ENTERS]: Unhand him, you ruffians! You gutter rats! [pushes them away] Come on, Pinocchio! You’re late for school.
PINOCCHIO (stumbling around laughing): Falling coins! Jiminy! I don’t NEED to go to school. I’m going to grow a Money Tree!
JIMINY: A Money Tree!!! That’s a get rich scheme! [CAT tosses him over his shoulder and carries him away.]
PINOCCHIO: It sure is! [to Fox ] Can we go now, please?? Before my father freezes?
JIMINY: No, Pinocchio! Don’t give them your money! Let go of me! (yells and fights Cat)
STORYTELLER [personal feeling]: Go, Jiminy! Fight! Fight! Kick, bite, yell! Don’t give up!
[CAT has a hard time carrying JIMINY away who kicks, hits and yells. Finally, the CAT, who is bigger, gets him inside the trash bin but has to sit on it to keep him down. CAT gestures “What do I do? I’m stuck here?” to FOX who shakes Pinocchio’s hand while taking his books and tosses the books to CAT to weigh down the lid.]
[The FOX ad libs pointless questions during the fight, watching until Jiminy is dispatched with.]
FOX - So how old are you young man?
PINOCCHIO - About 2 hours. Can we go now?
FOX - 2 hours? Hmm... That’s quite a nose you have.
PINOCCHIO - It’s wood. I’m made of wood. I’m a puppet. Can we go now?
FOX - How did you come to life?
PINOCCHIO - The Blue Fairies.
FOX - What are blue fairies?
PINOCCHIO - They are fairies. Who are blue.
FOX (ad lib)- Do you like the ocean? Do you have a pet? How do you talk with a wooden tongue?
(Pinocchio answers. When Jiminy is in bin, shake Pinocchio’s hand and toss books to Cat):
CAT (after weighing down bin lid with Pinocchio’s books) - Shall we be off, my friends?
PINOCCHIO: Finally! Goodbye , Jiminy! [THEY EXIT laughing]
JIMINY [banging inside bin]: Let me out! Let me out! Pinocchio! Don’t go! Don’t leave meeee!
[A moment on the empty stage with the frantic sounds of trapped JIMINY.]
BLACKOUT or CLOSE CURTAIN SET-UP FIELD - flip scenery to Trees with Houses behind.
#13 MUSIC: “Meadow of Cows - Ranz des Vaches” (0:30) by Gioacchino Rossini
SCENE 4: FIELD OF DREAMS
[Forest area perhaps with town in background. Perhaps a turn- around of Scene 3 scenery.
PINOCCHIO, FOX & CAT ENTER. FOX & CAT are looking to see if anyone can see them. PINOCCHIO runs ahead.]
STORYTELLER: Pinocchio, perhaps, should be excused for leaving his friend behind. He had only had his brain for a few hours, and it WAS made of wood. He had not learned to think about others, and understand their feelings.
He was so excited about the Money Tree that he also did not notice that the Fox and Cat were taking him far away from any0ne who could see him, or help him, if things turned bad.
PINOCCHIO: Is this the Field of Dreams?
[to audience:]
FOX: Farmer watching. [calling] Nice day, sir!
CAT: Milkmaids looking. Good morning, ladies!
PINOCCHIO: Is this the Field of Dreams?
FOX: Old guy fishing by the creek.
CAT: Behind these trees. [ They go behind and come back out]
PINOCCHIO: Is this the Field of Dreams?
FOX: Yes! This is THE spot!
PINOCCHIO: Where are all the other money trees?
FOX: Oh, um... Their owners broke their promise not to tell.
CAT: They talked about their tree, so it DISAPPEARED!
PINOCCHIO: Eeek! I promise not to tell ANYONE!
STORYTELLER: If someone wants you to promise not to tell, it is probably a BAD IDEA and that is a BAD PERSON!
FOX: Good! So dig a little hole...
CAT: And mark the location with a circle of stones
PINOCCHIO: OK! (digs)
FOX: That’s deep enough.
PINOCCHIO: Do I put in the coins now?
FOX: Yes. Sprinkle a little dirt. Not too much.
CAT: You don’t want to drown them.
PINOCCHIO (finishes and sits): OK. (pause) I’m waiting.
CAT: Oh, Silly! It won’t grow while you are watching it!
[CAT & FOX scoop under his arms and lift Pinocchio.]
FOX: Now, you must skip all around the field singing a song. When you come back, your tree will have grown.
PINOCCHIO: Oh, boy! What song?
FOX: Any song you like.
PINOCCHIO: I’m going to sing about what I will buy for my father.
CAT: Delightful! You will get a big tree that way!
PINOCCHIO: Here I go! [circles the audience singing, while FOX & CAT steal coins, dance, EXIT.]
“Turkey in the Straw”
(sung a capella -- with no music)
I’m bringing home gold from my money tree,
Won’t my father be surprised at me?
I’m bringing home gold from my money tree,
To buy a coat and food for any recipe.
I grew my money tree,
Grew my money tree,
From coins 1, 2,3,
Coins 1, 2, 3,
I’m bringing home gold from my money tree,
To buy a coat and food for any recipe.
[FOX & CAT ad lib while stealing coins, while Pinocchio is away.]
FOX & CAT adlibs: Hoo-boy! With a voice like that he’d make a better gate than puppet. What an idiot!
[FOX & CAT scamper to hide when Pinocchio returns. They peek to see Pinocchio’s reaction.]
PINOCCHIO [RETURNS finishing song]: I’m back. . .Where’s my tree. Mr. Fox? Mr. Cat? Is this the right place? Yes! There is the circle of stones, around a . . Hole! My coins! They are gone!
[PINOCCHIO searches frantically and crying.]
STORYTELLER: It is a bitter tasting pill to realize that you have been cheated.
Pinocchio was young so it hurt a lot. Of course, when you are old it hurts even more because you thought you knew better.
Maybe it hurts the rich more because they lose more.
No, it hurts the poor more because, though they only lose a little, they wind up with nothing.
Oh! The fact is, being cheated hurts terribly,
not just for what you lost, but for how stupid you feel,
and you wonder, “How could that person, who acted like my friend, steal from me?”
PINOCCHIO [gives up searching]: The coins are gone. Gone! Gone! I can’t go to school. What will I tell my father? Oh, now I’ll never be a real boy. (EXITS crying)
[Laughing, FOX & CAT EXIT the other direction.]
#14 MUSIC: “Laconic Granny” (0:30)
SET UP MARKET - Flip Scenery to Houses with Trees behind and add table(s) for Market Sellers who bring the wares.
SCENE 5: THE PENNILESS BOY RETURNS
[Town Market: Baker, Milkmaid, Butcher, Barber. ENTER GEPPETTO.]
STORYTELLER: While Pinocchio walked back to town, Geppetto asked for help from his friends.
GEPPETTO: Hello, Mr. Baker, you know me, Old Geppetto, your good friend for years. Give me just a loaf of bread and I will pay you next week. I have a new son, and he is a growing hungry boy.
BAKER: A new son? You have a baby? With no wife?
GEPPETTO: No, not a baby, a young boy, a wooden boy.
BAKER: You want bread for a wooden boy??? Geppetto, you must have sawdust on the brain!
Mr. Butcher come over! Congratulate Geppetto on the birth of his full grown wooden son.
GEPPETTO: Good I was going to ask to borrow some sausage.
BAKER: Molly Milkmaid, bring a bottle of milk to feed the hungry wooden boy that lives with Geppetto!
[PINOCCHIO ENTERS miserably, hesitantly, working up the courage, comes up behind Geppetto.]
Mr. Barber, Sharpen your scissors to give Geppetto’s wooden boy a haircut. You can sell the trimmings as toothpicks.
GEPPETTO: No, no, his hair does not grow. At least I don’t think it will. Hold on! Are you teasing me?
PINOCCHIO: Uh, Father?
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio! My son! School must have let out early! Here he is!
[Patting Pinocchio on the back] I do not blame you for doubting -- though you could have been kinder -- but see here, good people: Here he is! My delightfully smart and obedient son, whom I carved from a log just yesterday! And he will help me in the shop and learn the trade and make me proud.
True, I never got to hold him as a baby, but he will be my darling boy forever!
[ACORN & CORNCOB ENTER walking past, pause to pilfer from the wares of a distracted merchant.]
BARBER: Can you believe this?
BUTCHER: Carved from a log!
MILKMAID: Created yesterday!
BAKER: Solid wood! Alive!
BARBER: Strange!
BUTCHER: Different!
MILKMAID: Disturbing and un-natural.
BAKER: Someone should tell the police chief.
[When they hear “Police Chief” ACORN & CORNCOB jump, startled.]
GEPPETTO: Oh, hello, Acorn! Corncob! You of course met my new son Pinocchio in school today! Tell me, how did he get along? Did he make a lot of friends?
ACORN [go to Geppetto]: Who? Do you mean this . . . toy?
CORNCOB: Oh, Acorn. He’s teasing us! A puppet in school. That would be funny, Geppetto!
ACORN: Ho ho ho! The teacher would leap on her desk and throw her shoes in terror.
GEPPETTO: But he WAS in school! I sent him. With his book and jacket and coins.
PINOCCHIO: Uh, Father, about those coins. . . .
TOWNFOLK: Ohhhhh! [nod knowingly, that Pinocchio spent the coins]
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio. . . ?
PINOCCHIO: I was walking to school and . . . I was tossing the coins up and down and . . . . and . . . A big wind blew the coins out of my hand and into the ocean! Ow! [covers nose with hands] By Dose Hurts!
GEPPETTO: Your nose? Pinocchio. What is wrong? Show me.
[PINOCCHIO turns away, hiding his nose. Geppetto struggles to turn him to see.]
TOWNFOLK: HA HA HA!
BARBER: (sarcastic) Oh, yes! A delightful boy! Spending his school money!
BUTCHER: (sarcastic) Who needs school when you have wooden brains?
MILKMAID: That IS a pretty good story for a boy with wooden brains.
BAKER: A Liar and a Thief! That’s what he is!
ACORN: Poor Geppetto!
CORNCOB: I wish I could spend my school money!
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio! Show me what is wrong with your nose!
PINOCCHIO: It hurts! Ah - Ah - Achoo! [ He uncovers his nose and sneezes his nose longer!] My nose! No!
TOWNFOLK [ad lib one of these]: Look! His nose! It sneezed bigger!
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio! Tell me what happened! Tell me everything!
PINOCCHIO: (sobbing): I’m sorry, Father. I lost the coins, and I lied to you. I’ve been very, very bad!
BARBER: He’s bad! He said so! Black magic!
BUTCHER: A nose that sneezes bigger! Who ever heard of such a thing?
BAKER: Geppetto has created a monster.
MILKMAID: Children! Run home!
[TOWNFOLK EXIT]
PINOCCHIO: I’m not a monster! [runs. Geppetto catches him.]
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio! I can’t help you if you run away! Tell me what happened!
PINOCCHIO: I’m sorry. Two Talking Animals told me you were freezing to death –
GEPPETTO: And you see I have not.
PINOCCHIO: -- and if I buried the coins a tree would grow . . . Oops! And now I have broken my promise not to tell! But. . . . Hey! My nose is shrinking!!! [gently pushes it in a little] Hooray!
JIMINY’S VOICE inside the trash can: Talking Animals! Buried Coins! Pinocchio! Let me OUT!
GEPPETTO: What is that squawking and crashing?
PINOCCHIO: Oh, that’s Jiminy. He, um . . . climbed inside the trash bin and closed the lid -- OW! [grabs his nose.]
GEPPETTO [grabs Pinocchio by the shoulders] : Tell me the truth!
PINOCCHIO: The Cat and Fox put him in the trash bin and I was so excited I forgot about him. Hey, it stopped hurting! [uncovers his normal nose]
GEPPETTO: In a trash bin? With a lid! Are these your schoolbooks??? (GEPP thrusts books at Pinocchio, and opens bin) Are you alive, Mr. Cricket?
JIMINY [crawling out, mad]: Barely! I’ve been trapped in there since morning! [stays bent over]
GEPPETTO: This is terrible! If you were a child you would have suffocated!
JIMINY: But I’m an insect, so I didn’t. [yelling] Thanks a lot, Pinocchio!!!
PINOCCHIO: You’re welcome. Hey, look! My nose is all better!
JIMINY: I’m being sarcastic!!!
PINOCCHIO: What’s “sarcastic”? Does it mean all crumpled up and short? You look funny!
[JIMINY painfully straightens himself out.]
GEPPETTO [is furious, and rightfully so]: Pinocchio. You must never put a person or animal in a container with a lid! They will run out of air and die!
PINOCCHIO: I didn’t put him in there. The Fox and Cat did!
GEPPETTO: You left him there! He is your friend.
JIMINY: WAS your friend! Goodbye! (EXITS)
PINOCCHIO: Jiminy! Ow! [clutches his chest over his heart] Father? Why does it hurt here?
GEPPETTO: Your heart is breaking, for you have lost a friend.
PINOCCHIO: You gave me a heart?
GEPPETTO: Well. . . . I painted one on your chest.
PINOCCHIO: Make it stop hurting.
GEPPETTO: To do that we must go find Jiminy and you must apologize.
PINOCCHIO: Yes! Yes! Let’s go find Jiminy! And tell him to come home!
GEPPETTO: Yes, to come home. [They start walking.]
PINOCCHIO [hands on stomach]: Father, I’m hungry.
GEPPETTO [patting his head]: I’m sorry, my boy. We both are. [EXIT]
#15 MUSIC: “Comedic Juggernaut” (0:41)
(SET UP STREET IN FRONT OF TROMBONI’S THEATER)
SCENE 6: FOX, CAT AND TROMBONI
(Street in front of theater, with big show poster. NOTE this bit with Geppetto can be somewhere else away from the Tromboni theater area, perhaps in the audience.)
STORYTELLER: Geppetto and Pinocchio found Jiminy, and Pinocchio apologized. And because Jiminy knew he was just a young boy with so much to learn, Jiminy forgave him.
But not before Jiminy told Pinocchio how hot and smelly it was inside the bin! And how he was afraid that he might die! And how sad he was that Pinocchio left him in there.
Then they went home and ate the last of the food in the house, and fell asleep exhausted.
The next morning, because the coins were lost,
[PINOCCHIO and GEPPETTO ENTER. GEPP shows PINN the note. ]
Geppetto gave Pinocchio a note for the teacher, promising to pay --
GEPPETTO [sounding it out]: Nexxxx
PINOCCHIO: Next.
GEPPETTO: Weeee--
PINOCCHIO: Week!
GEPPETTO: Very good, my boy!
STORYTELLER: -- and sent him off to school again, with a reminder.
GEPPETTO: Tell me again, what will you do today?
PINOCCHIO: Go straight to school, give the note to the teacher, and come straight home after school.
GEPPETTO: That’s my good boy. Now hurry! Don’t be late! Jiminy needs to sleep but you can get to school by yourself, right?
PINOCCHIO: Right! Goodbye! [EXITS ]
GEPPETTO: Goodbye, Pinocchio. My little wooden head. [GEPPETTO EXITS back the way he came. ]
[OPEN CURTAIN or LIGHTS UP]
[TROMBONI ENTERS and puts up his poster or admires the poster, and looks around for customers.
ENTER MOTHER, THISTLE AND SKY.]
TROMBONI: Good day, Madam and your fair children. Will you be attending this evening’s show?
THISTLE & SKY: Oh, please, Mother? Please please please?
MOTHER: I think not! Theater is the lowest form of art, and puppetry is the lowest form of theater. Good day! [ EXITS with kids whining.]
TROMBONI: Ah, your kids, they are ugly! [EXITS BEHIND THEATER.]
[ FOX and CAT ENTER , pass by the poster and then the FOX jerks the CAT back to look at it.)
FOX: Well, well. What have we here? It’ s my old friend Tromboni, putting on another show. He never stays for long in town after his first audience tells the rest of the town how terrible his shows are.
CAT: Tromboni! The Puppet Master! (He holds up his arms and dances around like a puppet.) Ta ra ra Boom De-ay, I took your pants away, I left you standing there, in just your ----
(CHILDREN ENTER running-bump the CAT who spins and falls. KIDS EXIT.)
LAMPWICK: Ha ha! I’m winning, slowpokes!
CAT: Stupid school kids! Ha ha! I had fun in school.
FOX: Oh, yes. It is a good place to steal lunches.
CAT: ... and lunch money.
FOX: Oh, yes. A fool and his money are soon parted. Many times.
PINOCCHIO (ENTER, skip, singing): Straight to school. Give the note. Go back home. Straight --
FOX: Hello, Pinocchio, my little puppet friend . . .Puppet! (realizes!)
PINOCCHIO [furious]: You! My father said you swindled me. He said you dug up the coins after I left. He said I should never talk to you and if I saw you again, I should call the POLICE.
CAT (panicking): Police!
FOX: Oh, Stupid Me! My dear friend, I forgot to tell you that . . . the money tree never grows on Mondays. But, this afternoon --
CAT: Oh, yes, this afternoon!
FOX & CAT: Is Triple Tuesday!
CAT: That’s Ten Times what you planted!
PINOCCHIO: But you said it would be 100 times what I planted.
FOX: And triple one hundredy . . um . . .
CAT: carry the Pie R Round . . .
FOX: divided by the square hippopotamus . .
CAT: Equals ...
FOX: 9 tripley zillion and change!
CAT: Confounded daily!
PINOCCHIO: Wow! So when I go see my tree after school, I’ll be rich!?
FOX: After school??? No! All school and no play makes Pinocchio a dull wooden boy. What you need are the arts! Music! Theater!
CAT: Recess! and Lunch!
FOX: And what luck? What do we have here? [poster] A puppet theatre! Shall we indulge?
PINOCCHIO (gasping in delight) Ohhhh! Yes! --- No! No! No! I told my father I would go straight to school!
FOX: But you’ll be a rich man this afternoon. And tomorrow you can pay your teacher twice as much.
PINOCCHIO: Oh... oh... oh....
CAT: Do you have pocket change for a ticket?
PINOCCHIO: Pocket change? No. And my father has no money. He traded his warm coat to buy my jacket and books.
FOX: Wonderful idea! You can trade your books and jacket for money to buy a ticket!
CAT: And buy a better jacket and books this afternoon.
PINOCCHIO (looking at poster): Oh, oh, oh. . . . OK! (hands jacket and books to FOX.)
FOX (whistles to the left and right)
(ENTER JUNK DEALER and TROMBONI ENTER from the Theater.
FOX hands jacket and books to CAT who goes and trades them for dollars from JUNK DEALER, and brings the money back to the FOX.
FOX whispers to TROMBONI and points at PINOCCHIO. TROMBONI gets excited, they shake hands and TROMBONI pays the FOX.
PINOCCHIO just looks at the poster in delight.)
(POLICE CHIEF ENTERS, passes by, looking suspiciously at Fox and Cat. FOX holds money behind back.)
FOX: Top o’ the mornin’ to you, Police Chief.
CAT and TROMBONI: Top o’ the mornin’!
(POLICE CHIEF EXITS. FOX puts all the money in his pockets.
MARKET LADY & FARMER ENTER pass by.)
FOX: Hey Puppet Boy! It’s show time! Here is Tromboni to escort you inside.
TROMBONI: The pleasure is all mine, My Dear Sir .... um
PINOCCHIO: Pinocchio! My name is Pinocchio!
MARKET LADY: Did that wooden boy talk???
FARMER: How un-natural! We must report this to the Police!
TROMBONI: No no no! This is the star of my show! The Amazing Pinocchio!
MARKET LADY: Oh, my! A star! I’ve never met a star before! Does he give autographs?
TROMBONI: After the show!
FARMER: We will come this evening! (THEY EXIT ad libbing excitement.)
TROMBONI: Excellent! This evening, then! Come with me now, Pinocchio, my new star.
PINOCCHIO: My father Geppetto wished on a star. Are you coming to see the show, Mr. Fox and Cat!
(TROMBONI and PINOCCHIO EXIT BACKSTAGE)
FOX & CAT: We wouldn’t miss it! Ha ha ha ha! Goodbye, Little Wooden Head!
JIMINY CRICKET (ENTER running across): Oh, why did I go back to sleep? To the school. Run run!
FOX: What a stupid puppet! Ha ha ha.
CAT: Stupid puppet! Ha ha ha. (THEY EXIT.)
JIMINY (RETURNS, looks at audience): Did they say “Puppet”? (shrugs. EXITS.)
#16 MUSIC: “BIG FIGHT IN THE CIRCUS TENT (0:28)
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SCENE 7: TROMBONI’S PUPPET SHOW
[This can be the same set as Scene 6. TOWNFOLK AUDIENCE ENTERS chattering .]
#17 MUSIC: “COMIC HERO” (0:21)
Dance by 3 BLIND MICE through first half of music.
(ENTER dancing for first verse with no singing.)
0:05 - Welcome to the Puppet Show, Welcome to the Show,
We are very glad you’re here, We want you to know,
Please drop food upon the floor, Popcorn on the floor,
Candy, pretzels, chocolate, Then go out the door.
TROMBONI [ENTER from behind Tromboni’s curtain]: Shoo! Shoo! Filthy pests!
TOWNFOLK: Hooray, Tromboni ! Hooray, Pinocchio!
JIMINY (ENTER): Pinocchio? Where are you? (not seeing Pinocchio, he shrugs and sits in audience)
TROMBONI: Thank you! Thank you! Oh you are too kind! Welcome to Tromboni’s humble little puppet show. But you are not here to see foolish old Tromboni, although handsome I may be.
You are here to see . . . . Pinocchio!
(ENTER PINOCCHIO running and jumping into a pose)
The puppet with NO STRINGS ATTACHED!
TOWNFOLK (clapping): Hooray! Pinocchio!
TROMBONI: Pinocchio!
(TROMBONI gives PINOCCHIO a big slap on the back and PINOCCHIO falls flat on his face.
TROMBONI lifts him to his feet and brushes him off. )
JIMINY (jumps onstage): Pinocchio! Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO: Jiminy Cricket! He’s my conscience!
JIMINY: Come home, Pinocchio!
TROMBONI (chases) : Filthy grasshopper! Get out!
JIMINY (dodging): Eeeek! I’m not a grasshopper!
PINOCCHIO: Jiminy! I’m a star!
(AUDIENCE laughs and cheers.)
TROMBONIO: Disgusting Insect! I will stomp you!
(JIMINY hides. ) A thousand apologies, Ladies and Gentlemen, for the pestilential interruption.
JIMINY’s voice - I’m not pestilence!
TROMBONI - Tromboni’s Puppet Theater is proud to bring to you, the world famous --
JIMINY’s voice - I don’t think so!
TROMBONI - fresh from entertaining the royalty of 9 countries...
JIMINY’s voice - Ha ha!
TROMBONI - The Amazing! The Stupendous! The
JIMINY’s voice - Too big for his britches!
TROMBONI - Dancing singing puppet with no strings --
[starts to go backstage to get other puppets]
Stay right here, on the edge of your seats, I’ll be right back with... Pinocchio’s back up dancers!
[TROMBONI ducks backstage and returns walking the jerky stringed Dancing Puppets #1, #2 to the L and R of Pinocchio who has waited awkwardly, whistling and looking around and shrugging.
During Pinocchio’s solos, the Dancing puppets do basic simple back-up moves.]
TROMBONI - Maestro, Please!
#18 MUSIC: Ta ra ra Boom De ay (1:09)
PINOCCHIO:
Ta ra ra Boom de ay,
I came alive today,
I was a puppet boy,
A stupid wooden toy;
But now I dance and sing,
Because I’ve got no string,
Look at me spin around,
I hardly touch the ground;
Geppetto wished upon a star,
Fairies came from very far,
Magic dust and now I’m free,
Look! I have no strings on me!
STRING PUPPETS:
Ta ra ra Boom de ay,
We can not run away,
With strings tied on our feet,
We cannot sing or eat;
We wish to be Pinocchio,
So we can eat pistachio,
Ride a horse in rodeo,
Fly a plane to Tokyo!
PINOCCHIO:
Ta ra ra Boom de ay,
I came alive today,
I’m happy to be free,
I have no strings on me!
(PINOCCHIO and PUPPETS bow. AUDIENCE throws coins. TROMBONI & PUPPETS EXIT.)
TOWNFOLK: Bravo! Bravo! (clapping)
JIMINY (runs over): Pinocchio! Run! You can escape now!
PINOCCHIO: I don’t want to escape, Jiminy. Being a star is fun!
TROMBONI [ENTER]: The dirty grasshopper wants to steal Pinocchio! What do you say?
TOWNFOLK: Booo! Go home, Grasshopper! Booo!
JIMINY (feelings hurt): Well, I know when I’m not wanted. If you want to be a star -- BE A STAR!
See if I care. Goodbye. (starts to cry and runs out - EXITS)
TROMBONI and TOWNFOLK: Hooray!
PINOCCHIO (cheerfully, not understanding that Jiminy is sad): Goodbye, Jiminy!
TROMBONI: Thank you all for coming! Come see the show again tomorrow!
TOWNFOLK: Goodbye! Goodbye! (EXIT ad libbing about the wonderful show)
PINOCCHIO: What a mess! Those people threw coins all over the stage. Do you want me to pick them up?
TROMBONI: Yes! Yes! Pick them up and bring them to me!
[PINOCCHIO picks up all coins for TROMBONI who drops them into a little bag or coin purse. ]
PINOCCHIO: Ooops! Some of the coins rolled off the stage.
TROMBONI: So go get them you idiot! I mean my sweet little idiot! Oh, so much gold!
[He continues to smell, fondle and wallow in his gold.
PINOCCHIO Runs off stage to get coins and put on growing nose.]
STORYTELLER: There is something called Gold Fever, when a person becomes crazy, dazzled out of their mind, at the thought of great riches. Soon it is all they can think of, and they forget the things that are really important such as love and family, and right and wrong.
PINOCCHIO [RETURNS wearing his nose that grows]: Here are the coins that rolled away.
TROMBONI: Oooh! Aaaah! Oh Pinocchio, you made me so much money today!
You are the Goose that laid the Golden Egg!
You are my Cash Cow!
You are my Gravy Train.
You are making me rich, rich, rich!
PINOCCHIO: You are making me hungry hungry hungry. I’m going to go home now and eat dinner. [walks past Tromboni]
TROMBONI (grabs him]: Go home! Go home? Why of course, but first, I have a surprise for you.
PINOCCHIO: A surprise?
TROMBONI: Close your eyes.
PINOCCHIO (puts hands over eyes): OK.
(TROMBONI gets a ”100 KG weight” or a cinderblock with a chain and lock attached.)
TROMBONI: Are you peeking?
PINOCCHIO: No!
(TROMBONI quickly locks it (Velcro or magnet) around Pinocchio’s waist.)
TRONBONI: Surprise!
PINOCCHIO (struggling): Oh. Oh. Oh. This is a bad surprise! Let me go! Let me go!
TROMBONI: I will never let you go. Every town we visit, the people will throw gold on the stage when they see you perform. Gold for me! Ha ha ha!
PINOCCHIO: Gold! I can give you gold. I’m rich!
TROMBONI: Rich?
PINOCCHIO: I planted 3 coins in the field of Dreams yesterday and today I should have . . um , 9 tripley zillion!
TROMBONI: Ha ha ha. Little fool! Fox and Cat have scammed you twice. They stole your money, and then they sold you into slavery to me! Ha ha ha!
PINOCCHIO: No! They are my friends. They said so!
TROMBONI: Ha ha ha! They are not even my friends! I go to hitch the donkeys to the wagon!
We leave tonight! Ha ha ha! (imitating) They are my friends. They SAID so! Ha ha ha! (EXITS)
PINOCCHIO: I want to go home! I want my father!
(PINOCCHIO cries and cries as lights get darker and Blue Fairies ENTER.)
#19 MUSIC: “Mysteriosa - Short” (0:17)
PINOCCHIO: Blue Fairies! Blue Fairies! You came to help me!
CERULIA: Oh, Pinocchio, how did you get here? Why didn’t you go to school?
PINOCCHIO: Umm, I got lost. Ow! (PINOCCHIO grabs his nose in pain.)
AZUL: Oh, my! What happened to the jacket and books that Geppetto got for you?
PINOCCHIO: Um. . . A big bird flew down and snatched them away. Ow! (nose extends)
AQUA: Too bad. Why didn’t you go home then?
PINOCCHIO: Um, I got lost again. And then I fell in a hole! Aachoo! Ow! (nose longer) My nose!
CERULIA: Oh, Pinocchio, a lie grows until it is as obvious as the nose on your face.
PINOCCHIO: I’m sorry. The truth is that I skipped school and traded my books and jacket to go to the puppet show. But it’s the Fox and Cat’s fault!
(The BLUE FAIRIES move closer, and one fairy gently pushes his nose small again.)
AZUL: There there, now don’t you feel better after telling the truth?
CERULIA (sarcastic): Or something like it.
PINOCCHIO: Yes.
AQUA: Pinocchio, where is Jiminy Cricket, your Conscience?
PINOCCHIO (crying): I don’t know. He tried to rescue me but I said I wanted to be a star!
JIMINY (ENTER) : Pinocchio? I came back to wish you good luck in the theater -- !
Oh, my! The Blue Fairies! How do you do? [bows] Oh, no! Pinocchio! You are in chains!
(Tries to open lock, shakes the chain)
Oh, help us, please, Blue Fairies!
AZUL: There is no help for a liar or fool,
AQUA: Who has a good father but will not obey.
CERULIA: Who takes a warm jacket and books for school,
And for trifles, trades them away.
JIMINY and PINOCCHIO (crying): We’re sorry! We’re sorry!
TROMBONI (ENTERING): Time to go my little Money Puppet! What is this! Little Blue Witches! Ha ha ha! Trying to help my little Pinocchio escape?? Ha Ha Ha!
JIMINY (fists up): Let him go, you Thief!
TROMBONI (picks him up, face to face): He is bought and paid for! You are the thief, you filthy grasshopper!
JIMINY l[grimaces at TROMBONI’s bad breath]: Bought and paid for???
[TROBONI puts him down and turns to Blue Fairies.]
TROMBONI: Hmmm, Little Blue Witches. You could be stars in Tromboni’s show. Would you like that? (They smile at him.) Dance for me Little Blue Witches.
JIMINY: No, no no! . . . !?
#20 MUSIC: “Divertissement” (0:30)
(Blue Fairies dance.)
(As the BLUE FAIRIES dance around TROMBONI, he gets sleepy.
At the end of the song, they zap him, he falls asleep, snoring.)
AZUL: You are young, Pinocchio, with much to learn.
AQUA: Listen to your Conscience and to your father .
CERULIA: For boys who don’t will surely burn.
AZUL: And be broken and lost in the water. (THEY start to dance EXIT.)
#21 MUSIC: “Doors - Mysteriosa - Short” (0:17)
JIMINY: Wait! Pinocchio is still chained up.
CERULIA: You will figure it out. . .. (BLUE FAIRIES EXIT.)
(TROMBONI starts to wake up.)
JIMINY: Oh Oh! He’s waking up! Oh! The Key! (pulls key from TROMBONI’s pocket)
Hold still! (HE unlocks the chains. Ad lib unlocking difficulty.) Pinocchio! You are free!
[Instead of running, PINOCCHIO dances in happiness.]
TROMBONI (groggy): What? Why am I on the floor?
JIMINY (locking chain on Tromboni) : Too late, Sleepy Head! (dangles key over Tromboni’s head)
You will find the key in the mud puddle outside!
Run, Pinocchio Run!!! (THEY EXIT)
TROMBONI: Come back with my puppet! Grrr.... (picks up weight and chain and EXITS after them.)
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
#22 MUSIC: “MOD PIANO ZETA-IMPROBABLE (1:42)
STORYTELLER: Jiminy and Pinocchio ran all the way home and Geppetto was very happy to have his little wooden boy back again.
They ate supper, brushed their teeth, and went to bed, but they were so tired that they woke up late, and had to run to school!
But this time, Geppetto made sure Pinocchio got there!
SCENE 8: SCHOOL
(Teacher, then ACORN, CORNCOB, LAMPWICK, THISTLE, SKY, NUTMEG, BEGGAR CHILD ENTER.
Pantomime Teacher teaching.
PINOCCHIO, GEPPETTO AND JIMINY ENTER running. They are out of breath.)
[PreScene, can be in front of Closed Curtain or in Spotlight during set change.]
JIMINY: Gee Whilikers! We ran and Jay-Walked all the way, but we are still late.
GEPPETTO: Pinocchio, here we are at school. Let me catch my breath and I will introduce you to your teacher. (bends over and catches his breath)
Hello? Professor? Hello?
TEACHER (coming to them): Hello?
GEPPETTO: Good morning, Professor Mayonnaise, this is my new son, Pinocchio. Say, “Hello,” to your Professor, Pinocchio.
PINOCCHIO: Hello to your Professor, Pinocchio.
GEPPETTO (chuckle): May he start school today? I can pay for the week, um, month, next week.
TEACHER: He is late.
GEPPETTO: I am sorry. We will not be late anymore.
TEACHER: He has a wooden head. (taps on Pinocchio’s head with his pointer stick)
GEPPETTO: True. But his wooden head is very smart.
TEACHER: He has no spelling book.
GEPPETTO: I will buy one for him today and he will bring it tomorrow.
TEACHER: Hmmmm... He is different.
GEPPETTO: Surely, everyone is different. But we have much that is the same. Hmmm?
TEACHER: (sigh) I will teach him. Go inside and sit down, Pinocchio.
PINOCCHIO: Goodbye, Father! (EXITS TO the classroom, either onstage or not revealed yet. The kids stare and laugh.)
JIMINY: See you later, Geppetto! ( JIMINY walks in, TEACHER stomps his/her foot in front of JIMINY.)
TEACHER: This cockroach is not allowed in school!
JIMINY: Cockroach??? I’m not a cockroach!
GEPPETTO: Pardon me, Professor Mayonnaise, this is Jiminy Cricket, my son’s conscience. May he stay with Pinocchio today?
TEACHER: A cricket! In my classroom! What next? Snakes? Spiders? A nest of rats? A wallow of pigs? A bucket of maggots????
GEPPETTO: I am sorry, Professor. I should not have asked.
TEACHER: Goodbye! (turns and goes back to classroom)
GEPPETTO: Thank you, Professor. Jiminy, would you wait outside until Pinocchio is done?
JIMINY (grumbling): Cockroach. .. . spiders. . . maggots. Sure, I’d be happy to sit here all day. Good time for a nap. (goes to sleep)
GEPPETTO: You are a good conscience, Jiminy. I must go sell some toys to buy another book.
Goodbye. (EXITS)
[When PINOCCHIO arrived in the classroom, either during the previous lines, or now, there is one empty chair. As Pinocchio walks toward it, the children move to fill the spot and laugh. The game is whenever he moves to an empty chair other kids slide over to fill it, moving the empty spot somewhere else.)
TEACHER [ENTER]: Sit down, Pinocchio. Do you think you are the teacher? (Smoothes clothing and hair.)
SCHOOL KIDS: (Laugh)
(PINOCCHIO still can’t reach the empty seat causing more laughter.]
TEACHER: Be quiet! Children! We have a new student today. Pinocchio, Sit Down!!!
(PINOCCHIO sits.)
NUTMEG: That’s a funny name!
CORNCOB: Pinocchio Sit Down! (CHILDREN laugh.)
TEACHER: Be quiet! We shall review the alphabet. Only a wooden head cannot say his ABC’s. All together now: (PINNOCCHIO says letter the same time as the School Kids.)
SCHOOL KIDS: A, B
PINOCCHIO: Quiet!
TEACHER: What! How dare you mock me!
PINOCCHIO: I’m sorry. I heard you say B Quiet.
TEACHER: C is the next letter. What is after C?
PINOCCHIO: You later!
TEACHER: No no no. We will continue with D. All together now:
SCHOOL KIDS: D, E, F, G
PINOCCHIO: Whilikers!
TEACHER: What?
PINOCCHIO: Jiminy Cricket said Gee Whilikers when we got to school!
TEACHER: Maybe the cockroach should be your teacher instead of me!
PINOCCHIO: I’m sorry.
TEACHER: We will continue with G. All together now:
SCHOOL KIDS: G, H, I
PINOCCHIO: Love you!
SCHOOL KIDS: (Laugh)
TEACHER: Continue!
SCHOOL KIDS: J
PINOCCHIO: !
SCHOOL KIDS: K, L, M, N, O
PINOCCHIO: No! We overslept!
SCHOOL KIDS: P, Q, R
PINOCCHIO (singing): You sleeping?
SCHOOL KIDS: S, T
PINOCCHIO: with sugar and cream?
SCHOOL KIDS: U
PINOCCHIO: Are my Sunshine!
SCHOOL KIDS: V, W, X, Y
PINOCCHIO: Did you put your shirt on backwards?
SCHOOL KIDS: Z! Hooray! (Laugh) That was fun! Let’s do it again!
TEACHER (holding head): No! Go have recess! I need something stronger than coffee. (EXIT)
SCHOOL KIDS: Hooray! (ALL leave school room to Down Stage, last is PINOCCHIO and LAMPWICK)
ACORN: Let’s go play in the fountain!
NUTMEG - Let’s go climb the big tree!
CORNCOB: Yippee!
THISTLE: No, let’s play King of the Mountain!
BEGGAR: Did anyone bring extra lunch for me?
SKY: I think we should stay. Teacher will be back right away.
[ALL THESE KIDS EXIT or move to the background.]
LAMPWICK: Hey, Pinocchio. My name is Lampwick. Pleased to meet ya. (shake hands)
PINOCCHIO: Hello, Lampwick. (the shaking makes him bounce)
LAMPWICK: Hey! Forget that grumpy teacher. Let’s go have fun!
PINOCCHIO: OK! (THEY EXIT running)
JIMINY (waking up) : Is school over? Where is Pinocchio? Oh, no!
Pinocchio! Pinocchio! Here we go again! Geppetto! Geppetto! (EXIT running)
#23 MUSIC: “EVIL PLAN FX” (1:00)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SCENE 9: THE WAGON - Outside at the edge of town
STORYTELLER: Well, Pinocchio turned the school upside down, and on his first day!
JIMINY CRICKET ran home and told GEPPETTO that PINOCCHIO was lost again, and they went looking for him. Meanwhile, the sun is going down and at the edge of town, cruel and selfish Captain Bombastic is arriving with his wagon and sad donkeys.
#24 MUSIC: “CHASING MICE” (0:37)
Dance by 3 BLIND MICE
-- During dance Capt. Bombastic ENTERS D, tries to chase them away.
CAPTAIN BOMBASTIC: Get lost you plague infested rats! Shoo! Shoo! Whoops!
[Sees kids coming. Starts performing.] Hurry Hurry! The coach to Mischief Island leaves in just 5 minutes. Free to the first ten children who want to have fun fun fun!
(ACORN, CORNCOB, THISTLE, SKY and BEGGAR CHILD and any other children ENTER)
ACORN: What is Mischief Island?
CAPTAIN: Oh, nothing at all, just carnivals and magic shows and roller coasters, and all FREE!
BEGGAR: It’s all free? How do we get there?
CAPTAIN: In this beautiful coach pulled by these strong donkeys. In just a few hours you will be eating cotton candy and caramel apples!
BEGGAR: Cotton Candy? Caramel Apples! How long can we stay?
CAPTAIN: As long as you like! No school. No work. No baths. Every day is Saturday.
CORNCOB: Every day is Saturday?
THISTLE: So, we can play all day? Every day? I want to go!
CAPTAIN: Then climb aboard before all the seats are taken. (KIDS get in coach.)
SKY [pulls on Thistle]: No! It’ s a trick. Come back to school! Don’t go! Don’t go!
CAPTAIN: Go away, little Ninny. Go back to your spelling books.
SKY [EXITING]: I’m telling Mother!
(FOX and CAT ENTER )
FOX: Captain Bombastic, you old scoundrel, what are you doing? Selling wagon rides to children?
(CAPTAIN, FOX and CAT move away to talk.)
CAPTAIN: Aye! Giving wagon rides to Bad Little Children, but not for coins. For Forever!
FOX: Do tell? And is there money in this?
CAT: Money?
CAPTAIN: Money for you, if you bring me more children. I leave in 3 minutes.
CAT: 3 minutes!
FOX: Not a moment to lose! (CAT and FOX EXIT.)
(GEPPETTO and JIMINY CRICKET ENTER run past.)
GEPPETTO: We have searched the town. Where can he be?
JIMINY: Look at all these children! Is he in the wagon?
GEPPETTO (looking): No, no, he’s not here. Keep looking! (THEY EXIT)
CAPTAIN: Two minutes! Last ride to Mischief Island! Ice cream and hot dogs! Fireworks and catapults!
THISTLE: I can hardly wait!
BEGGAR: I am going to eat until I burst!
(FOX & CAT ENTER A bringing LAMPWICK and PINOCCHIO ]
FOX: Here it is! Just in time! The Carriage to . . . to um . . . where?
CAPTAIN: To Mischief Island! Land of Seven Saturdays a Week!
LAMPWICK: Seven Saturdays!
LAMPWICK & PINOCCHIO: Wow!
ACORN: I wish it was Ten Saturdays a week.
CAPTAIN: Climb aboard!
LAMPWICK: Come on, Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO: Donkeys! [runs to pet donkeys]
ACORN & CORNCOB: We are going to have so much fun!
#25 MUSIC: “GO FOREVER MISCHIEF ISLAND” (0:43)
to the tune of “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles”, music by John Kellette, 1910
KIDS AND CAPTAIN sing:
Go forever Mischief Island,
Pretty island in the sea,
Trampoline so high,
Pteradactyls fly the sky,
Apple pies and dragonflies
Flutter by;
School is closed forever,
Soda instead of tea,
La la la!
Go forever Mischief Island,
Pretty island in the sea;
[NUTMEG ENTERS]
NUTMEG: What are you kids doing inside that fake _____________? You look like idiots.
ALL: We’re going to Mischief Island!
THISTLE - Hotdogs and fireworks!
BEGGAR - Cotton candy and roller coasters!
ACORN - Shooting cats out of catapults!
PINOCCHIO - And Donkeys!
CAPTAIN - Wanna come, Little Missy? Lots of princess dresses and tea parties.
NUTMEG - That’s hard to believe. [yells at kids] You better get out of that wagon before the bell rings!
ALL - Naaah!
CAPTAIN [coming closer]- Do you like pretty ponies? You can braid ribbons into their manes and name them.
NUTMEG (punching Captain in stomach) - Get away from me, you Creep!
KIDS (ad lib) - Wow! That musta hurt!
NUTMEG - You’re gonna be in big trouble! BIG TROUBLE! I'm telling Professor Mayonnaise! (EXITS)
CAPTAIN - Last call for Mischief Island! We leave in half a minute!
LAMPWICK: Get in, Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO: But my Father wants me to go to school tomorrow.
LAMPWICK: Don’t be different, Pinoke! Come on! We are ALL going!
ALL THE KIDS: Come on Pinocchio. We are ALL going!
PINOCCHIO (struggling with indecision) - Ohhhhhh....
SKY (leading MOTHER ENTER running): Stop them, Mother!
MOTHER (pulling THISTLE): Give me back my child! You Monster! You kidnapper! You thief!
THISTLE: No, Mother! Let me go! (cries - hanging on)
MOTHER: Let those children go!
DONKEYS: Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! [keep on braying ]
CAPTAIN: Shut your mouths you noisy donkeys! [beats them and they stop braying]
PINOCCHIO [amazed]: Those donkeys are CRYING!
CAPTAIN: 10 seconds! All aboard!
LAMPWICK: Hurry up, Pinocchio! . . .
(all yelling at once)
CORNCOB & BEGGAR: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Blastoff! ...
MOTHER: Jump off! Jump off! . . .
THISTLE: Let me go! Let me go!
LAMPWICK: Pinocchio! Come on, Pinocchio!
PINOCCHIO: I don’t know...
SKY: It’s a trick! Don’t go!
OTHER KIDS: Get on, Pinocchio! We’re all going! Let’s have fun!
(When the count down reaches "Blastoff!")
CAPTAIN: Giddy-up! Faster! Faster, you flea-bitten miserable beasts! [the wagon rolls past Pinocchio]
PINOCCHIO: Wait for me! ( Runs and jumps on. The Coach and KIDS EXIT.)
[NUTMEG ENTERS ahead of the wagon and has to jump out of the way.
The WAGON AND THE CHILDREN & CAPTAIN pass her.]
NUTMEG: The school bell is ringing! You are going to get a punishment!
KIDS ON WAGON: No we're not! We’re going to Mischief Island!
LAMPWICK: Seven Saturdays a week!
[The WAGON and passengers EXIT.]
NUTMEG: That makes no sense! (SHE looks at them in the distance and loses sight of them.)
SKY: We saved you just in time!
THISTLE: I wanted to go!
MOTHER: Foolish child. That was an evil man!
JIMINY (entering ): Pinocchio! Pinocchio!
GEPPETTO (enter ): I heard my Pinocchio’s voice! Have you seen my little puppet boy?
MOTHER: He just rode away on a wagon full of children. Tell us where they were going!
THISTLE (crying): To Mischief Island, for hot dogs and fireworks and cotton candy and roller coasters!
GEPPETTO: Oh, no! Mischief Island is a land of bad magic. I have no horse and no money, but I will build a raft and go find my Pinocchio!
MOTHER: What about Sharkanto!
GEPPETTO: Finding my son is more important. (EXIT other direction )
JIMINY: I can’t wait! I will hop after them! (EXIT after the wagon)
MOTHER: I know you are sad, but this is for the best. Come home to the family that loves you.
THISTLE: You’ve ruined my life!
SKY: Here we go again...
[MOTHER and her KIDS EXIT ]
THISTLE: You never let me have any fun. As soon as I am a little bit happy you drag me away . . .
_______ # 26 MUSIC: “Impending Doom” (0:32) soft to loud
FOX: What! Captain Bombastic forgot to pay us! That thief! That scoundrel! That Monster!
CAT: Monster! (EXIT)
NUTMEG: Serves you right! [EXIT]
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT as music continues)
STORYTELLER: In times like these, it is nice to be in your position -- Learning from others’ mistakes, so you need not make them yourselves.
Now is the 10 minutes set aside for you to visit the Snackbar and the Facilities, stretch your legs and enjoy yourself, and for Pete’s Sake, try not to think about the terrible danger, cold and hunger of Geppetto and Jiminy,
and whatever terrible Fate awaits Pinocchio and the Children on the Wagon. It’s Intermission!
#27 MUSIC: “THE SNACKBAR SONG - Crash End” (1:52)
The Snackbar Song -with assignments
by Jeannette Jaquish Free for Performance
Assign the numbered lines. Group sings “Let’s go to the snackbar…”
Let’s go to the snackbar, Let’s go to the snackbar,
Let’s go to the snackbar, And have a little snack!
1-Popcorn full of weevils,
2-One bite killed Kneivel,
Let’s go to the snackbar and have a little snack!
3-Sodas full of caffeine,
4-Your heart pounds like a freight train,
Let’s go to the snackbar and have a little snack!
SPOKEN: 5-Is this Sprite or acid rain?
6-Will I ever walk again?
7-This pizza slice is green and hairy!
8-Is this blindness temporary?
1-Candy bars all melted,
2-Like the Mississippi delta,
Let’s go to the snackbar and have a little snack!
3-Nachos are delicious,
4-Smells like rotten fishes,
Let’s go to the snackbar and have a little snack!
SPOKEN: 5-Hock your watch to pay the price!
6-Ignore your doctor’s good advice!
7-Start your kids on a lifetime habit!
8-Bouncing around like a spastic rabbit!
1- Eat up, don’t be a cynic,
2, 3 & 4- We’re next door to the clinic,
Let’s go to the snackbar and have a little snack!
(slow down)
1, 2, 3, 4- We’ve got whatever thrills ya,
ALL- Even if it kills ya,
Let’s go to the snackbar and haaave a liiittle snaaaaack!
(Grab throats and bellies and die on stage. Curtain closes.
If arms or legs stick out under curtain, drag them under.)
INTERMISSION - Set up Mischief Island, Ocean
ACT 2
# 28 MUSIC: “WALTZ OF TREACHERY” ( 0:40)
SCENE 10: MISCHIEF ISLAND
STORYTELLER: Captain Bombastic drove the Donkey Coach all night to the drawbridge to Mischief Island. Jiminy Cricket hopped as fast as he could, but he could not catch up. But he did not stop.
# 29 MUSIC: “Gaslamp Funworks - Long” ( 1:15 )
(DONKEYS pull Wagon on and ACORN, CORNCOB, BEGGAR CHILD, PINOCCHIO, LAMPWICK and any OTHER KIDS and CAPTAIN ENTER and get off.)
CAPTAIN: Boys and Girls, Here it is: Mischief Island!
Roller Coasters! Fireworks! Junk Food! Fight Club!
And it is all FREE! Forever and Ever and EVER!!! [CAPTAIN cracks whip: DONKEYS & Wagon EXIT]
KIDS: (running around): Hooray!
(KIDS continue exiting and entering, running across at random during music.)
LAMPWICK: Hey, Pinocchio! Didn’t I tell you this would be fun?
PINOCCHIO: You sure did! Lots of fun!
LAMPWICK (pointing) : Let’s go break windows, or do you want to throw pies?
PINOCCHIO (shrugging): I don’t know.
LAMPWICK: Isn’t this better than home or school?
PINOCCHIO: Home? School? I can’t remember.
LAMPWICK: Come on! (THEY EXIT running)
CAPTAIN: Laugh and play my lazy little children. Soon you will pay! Ha Ha Ha!
JIMINY (ENTERING exhausted): Finally, I made it. So noisy! Pinocchio!!! Pinocchio! (EXITS)
[ENTER- say lines -EXIT:]
ACORN: Did you see the kid fall out of the tree house?
BEGGAR: Did he get hurt?
ACORN: Naw, he fell on another kid!
BEGGAR: Let’s go ride motorcycles on the tightrope!
[ENTER- say lines -EXIT:]
CORNCOB Did you see me? I won the burping contest!
LAMPWICK: For burping “How doth the little bumble bee?” I won the kitten juggling contest.
PINOCCHIO: The kittens were saying “Myow! Myow!” I don’t think they liked it.
LAMPWICK: Too bad! Let’s go throw paint on works of art!
[ENTER- say lines -EXIT:]
ACORN: Wow! I’ve never seen so much food wrapped in bacon!
BEGGAR: Did you try the couch that swallows you! It’s great!
(ALL EXIT - CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
# 30 MUSIC : “ANACHRONIST” -set up Ocean (0:42)
SCENE 11: GEPPETTO ON A RAFT
STORYTELLER: All day Pinocchio and Lampwick ran around having fun at Mischief Island. Children were galloping around like idiots, fighting and throwing, breaking and spilling, climbing up and falling down, and sometimes getting hurt badly - - but no one stopped to help them.
Meanwhile, Geppetto built a raft and loaded water, food and blankets. He was surprised when he unrolled the blanket and found his stray kitten WANDER sleeping inside. They floated for 2 days in the sun and storms but could not find Mischief Island.
(GEPPETTO and WANDER slide ENTER from BACKSTAGE on a raft that has a kitty bowl, a canteen, a basket of food and a blanket. GEPPETTO paddles with hands. They sway with the rocking waves.)
# 31 MUSIC “What do you do with a Drunken Sailor - instrumental - short” (0:20)
Dance by 3 BLIND MICE
(after music)
GEPPETTO: I’ve been in the sun too long. Oh, Wander, look! Are those Mer-Mice?
Oh, Wander. You do not like being on the water, poor kitty.
WANDER: Meow, meow, No!
GEPPETTO: But you miss Pinocchio, too.
WANDER: Meow, meow, Yes!
GEPPETTO: We must keep looking for Mischief Island. I hope we have enough drinking water.
# 32 MUSIC: “Oh, Where-26 sec.” to the tune of “Oh Where Did My Little Dog Go” (0:26)
(GEPPETTO sings and WANDER meows or plays the violin.)
Oh where, Oh where did my Pinocchio go?
Oh where, Oh where can he be?
With his legs cut short,
And his nose cut long,
Oh where, Oh where can he be?
# 33 MUSIC: “Jaws Theme” performed as parody, an exception to copyright law. (0:50)
GEPPETTO (scared): Oh, Wander, do you see what I see?
WANDER(scared): Meow, meow, Oh, No!
GEPPETTO: A giant fin, as tall as a church steeple!
WANDER: Meow, meow, MEOW!
GEPPETTO: It is Sharkanto! He is opening his jaws! Oh, I wish I hadn’t used our paddle as firewood.
WANDER: Meow, meow, Let’s get out of here!
(GEPPETTO AND WHISKERS put back feet in water and push raft Backstage.)
GEPPETTO: Kick! Kick!
WANDER: Meow, meow, Faster!
# 34 MUSIC: “Tenebrous Carnival LONG” (1:09) Set Up Mischief Island
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
SCENE 12: DONKEY TIME
(HOW to CHANGE TO DONKEY: SET PIECES onstage where an actor can lean behind or walk behind to get and put on their donkey ears, for example a tree, a trunk, wall, furniture, or the stage side curtain. They can also just grab their ears from some place or inside their costume and bend over, back to the audience and put them on.
Donkey ears should have rare earth magnets attached. Sew iron washers to hats, so the ears stick on.
The other ear-option is to have duplicate hats with ears attached stashed onstage. Or to put Velcro on ears, or to make flexible-stiff ears that can be inside the hats and be pulled out thru a hole.
Their tails should be sewn to the top of the back of their trousers, but tucked inside. The actor can just reach behind and pull it out.
Give the kids long-sleeved shirts, and sew the ends of black socks to the ends of their sleeves and hidden tucked inside the sleeve, so they can put their fist inside to make hooves on their hands.)
STORYTELLER: By the end of their first day at Mischief Island, Pinocchio and the other children were dirty and sleepy. They looked for a place to rest.
# 35 MUSIC: Tenebrous Carnival SHORT - 20 sec.
(After lots of fun, the KIDS are tired and sick. BEGGAR, ACORN, CORNCOB , LAMPWICK, PINOCCHIO, and BAD KIDS 1, 2, 3 (who were the Coach Donkeys) ENTER from BACKSTAGE saying their first line.)
CORNCOB: That was great!
ACORN: I broke 50 windows, threw rocks and played war,
CORNCOB: I ate 5 chocolate pies with whipped cream!
ACORN: But now I am itchy, and smelly, and sore,
CORNCOB: My stomach feels like a bad dream.
BAD KID 1: I rode the rollercoaster 20 times, and ate spaghetti through my nose!
BEGGAR: I ate pudding and pizza and pickles and pie, then got sick all over my clothes.
BAD KID 2: I stomped on a hat!
BAD KID 3: I painted a cat!
BAD KID 2, 3: I wonder what Mother would say about that.
LAMPWICK: Hey, Pinocchio! You didn’t drink or smoke or break windows, not one!
PINOCCHIO: I was happy just watching. But the roller coaster was fun!
ACORN: I’m ready to sleep, where is my bed?
CORNCOB: I hear church bells bonging inside my head.
BAD KID 1: Tomorrow I will find a toothbrush and a new pair of pants.
BEGGAR: Me too! I think I sat on some ants.
BAD KID 2 (happy): But still, this great. No school. No chores.
BAD KID 3 (sad): No bedtimes stories, no kisses, no clean floors.
LAMPWICK: Aw, shut up, you Sissy! This is the best place to be!
When you don’t have to pay, that means YOU ARE FREE!
PINOCCHIO: But Lampwick, who does pay?
Who bought the cake and ferris wheel?
Who sweeps the broken glass,
And puts back what we steal?
LAMPWICK: Ha! One day in school, and you think you are smart.
You should teach us a class, or draw up a chart.
ACORN: Yeah! Who pays for all this stuff?
BAD KID 1: Where does it come from?
BEGGAR: Not us.
BAD KID 2 Ow! My insides are hurting. I need some ginger ale.
(Turns around. He has a donkey tail.)
BAD KID 3 & CORNCOB: Ha ha! Look at you! You have a donkey tail!
KIDS: Ha ha ha ha ha! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! (They clap their hands over their mouths.)
Ow! (They reach behind, turn around and have donkey tails) Oh, no!!!
(Except PINOCCHIO, all the KIDS run around frantic, and when hidden from the audience, add ears and put their hands in the black hooves inside their sleeves.)
PINOCCHIO: Lampwick! Why do we have tails? Lampwick! Lampwick!
(LAMPWICK and other KIDS return with ears.)
Lampwick! Now you have ears!
LAMPWICK: Ears? Haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
(CAPTAIN ENTERS, assuming a tyrannical pose with a beating stick - a foam pool tube or electrical conduit foam insulation tube, and a long rope with 8 loop “ harnesses” attached: o o o o o o o o )
CAPTAIN: Ha ha ha! You lazy children have had your fun! Now you will pay for it!
LAMPWICK: A tail and ears! You did this to me?
Stop it! This isn’t funny!
CAPTAIN: I will make it clear. You are not free.
I sell you donkeys for a lot of money! Ha ha ha !
# 36 MUSIC: “Donkey Chase: Danse Macabre” (1:38)
(The CAPTAIN chases the KIDS around the stage or through the audience.
They bump into each other and fall down, trip and fall down, hide by covering their faces, or by hiding behind things that are too small to conceal them, which allows the Captain to catch them.
When THE CAPTAIN catches one, he puts a harness around their head and they become Crying Donkeys and follow him.
He does not catch Pinocchio, but PINOCCHIO when hidden from audience, puts on ears.
JIMINY( ENTERS and runs to PINOCCHIO.): Pinocchio! Hide! Follow me! ( They hide onstage and peek out.)
(ALL THE KIDS are caught before the music turns soft and sad.
During the sad music, the CAPTAIN talks.)
CAPTAIN: Stop the crying! Pick up your feet!
Your life will not be over.
But you will work, with hay to eat
It will not be sugar and clover. (points to each Donkey)
For you! The circus as a polka-dot Donkey Clown.
For you three! The coal mines in the dark, far underground,
A farmer bought you to meet a cow, and pull a plow,
A peddler bought you to carry a load along a road,
And you will pull my coach to pick up more lazy girls and boys,
who think this island is the land of candy, fun and toys! Ha ha ha!
What? An empty harness! I am missing one!
JIMINY: Run, Pinocchio! Head for the bridge! NO! This way! Run, run, RUN!!!
(JIMINY and PINOCCHIO EXIT running as CAPTAIN grabs for them.)
CAPTAIN: Too bad! I hate to let one get away.
# 37 MUSIC: “Song of the Volga Boatmen” (1:00)
(CAPTAIN and DONKEYS EXIT STREET, Donkeys sadly hee-hawing.)
(CLOSE CURTAIN or BLACKOUT)
(TOWNFOLK CHANGE SET TO TOWN)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
STORYTELLER: Jiminy and Pinocchio ran as fast as they could. Jiminy brilliantly realized that the longer they stayed on Mischief Island, the more Pinocchio would turn into a donkey. They ran over the bridge and began the long rocky road home, but Pinocchio did not slow down or rest. All he wanted was to get home to his father.
# 38 MUSIC: Hobnobbit Town - 25 sec. (0:25)
Meanwhile, back in town, parents were frantically looking for their missing children.
SCENE 13: THE EMPTY HOUSE
[Just Geppetto’s Shop on one side. JUNK DEALER & FARMER ENTER.]
JUNK DEALER - The warehouse and the dock, from top to bottom. No sign of them.
FARMER- Every farmer checked his barn and haystack. No children there either.
MARKET LADY [ENTERS ]- Please! Can you help me? I can't find my two boys, Zilo and Motis! They didn't come home after school yesterday!
JUNK DEALER - Yours too? Look! [point] Look at all the mothers and fathers searching the shore.
FARMER- My children left for school yesterday but never came home!
TEACHER [ENTERS]: Only three children came to school today. This is a tragedy! I will have to move to another town to find work.
MARKET LADY - The playground is quiet except for whining dogs and wailing mothers.
MOTHER [ENTERS with SKY & THISTLE] - I saw your children! They climbed on a wagon pulled by donkeys. I pulled my boy off just as it drove away.
NUTMEG (ENTERING) - Their donkeys and wagon almost ran me over! I had to jump out of the way!
MOTHER - Poor Geppetto came a moment too late to rescue his wooden boy. What was his name?
TEACHER - Pinocchi-ogre! That monstrosity that Geppetto carved from a cursed tree stump!
[MAYOR, HERALD & POLICE CHIEF ENTER]
HERALD - HONK! Presenting the Mayor!
MAYOR - What are you saying about the wooden creature?
TEACHER - He was driving the wagon that took the children.
MOTHER- No he wasn’t! Pinocchio was NOT driving. A vicious creepy pirate was!
NUTMEG - I punched him in the stomach!
MOTHER - My son said they were going to Mischief Island.
THISTLE - I wanted to go! The Captain said Mischief Island has fireworks and Ferris Wheels!
SKY - Don’t be stupid!
NUTMEG - He was lying!
SKY - Didn’t you see how he was whipping his donkeys?
MOTHER - Shhh! Be quiet, children!
MARKET LADY - Has there been any news? Where can our children be?
THISTLE - Look! Here comes Geppetto’s kid! Ask him!
[PINOCCHIO & JIMINY ENTER running]
TOWNFOLK - Are the other children with him?
POLICE CHIEF - Hey Puppet! Where are the children?
JUNK DEALER - Tell us or we will chop you to pieces!
JIMINY - Let us pass! Pinocchio wants to find his father.
[JIMINY is chased by yelling people. PINOCCHIO sneaks past and goes inside Geppetto’s Shop.]
PINOCCHIO [going inside house] - Father! Father!
THISTLE - Did he always have those long ears?
SKY - And a tail?
FARMER [grabs JIMINY] - Speak up, Cricket! Geppetto’s boy came back.
MARKET LADY - Where are our children?
TOWNFOLK [ad lib] - Yeah, where are our children? / Where are the rest? / Tell us!
HERALD - HONK! The Mayor of Badluckia has an announcement!
[Startled by the honk, the Farmer lets go of Jiminy.]
MAYOR - Tell us where you have hidden our children, or you will be arrested!
POLICE CHIEF - Yes! Arrested!
MOTHER [getting in between]- I told you! Geppetto’s boy was a passenger, not the driver!
JIMINY [jumping in between Mother and crowd]- Listen up!
[bowing to Mother] Thank you ma’am, for defending us. You are very brave.
[Turns to face the crowd] Stop screaming and I will tell you.
Your children rode on a wagon down that road and over a bridge to Mischief Island, where they. . . um . . [doesn’t want to tell them the sad news that their children are donkeys]
TOWNFOLK - What! What happened!
JIMINY - They um . . . are still there. If you go to Mischief Island you will find them. Slightly changed.
NUTMEG - Changed?
MAYOR [suspicious] - How did you get out?
JIMINY - By running very fast.
PINOCCHIO [running to them] - The house is empty! Where is Geppetto?
MARKET LADY - “Where is Geppetto?” You killed him! He went looking for you and never came back!
FARMER - He built a raft out of old lumber.
JUNK DEALER - Tied together with string and strips of rag.
TEACHER - He left without a map, compass or telescope, astrolabe or flag.
HERALD - HONK! [hands a document] The Mayor will now present the official report!
MAYOR [reading] - Geppetto was last sighted yesterday , in the Non-Specific Ocean, paddling a raft of questionable integrity. Upon reaching the horizon, the giant sea monster, that I have named Sharkanto, rose up from the water, opened his mouth and --
POLICE CHIEF - Swallowed him!
MAYOR - I wasn’t finished!
POLICE CHIEF - Sorry.
PINOCCHIO - Oh no! My father was swallowed by a sea monster?
JIMINY - Oh, Pinocchio. I am so sorry for you. Poor Geppetto.
NUTMEG, SKY & MOTHER - Poor Geppetto!
TEACHER - Who cares about foolish old Geppetto! It’s his own fault!
OTHER TOWNFOLK [to Mayor] - What about our missing children???
MAYOR- We’re working on it! After lunch!
NUTMEG - After lunch?!
HERALD - HONK!
[MAYOR, POLICE CHIEF, HERALD EXIT]
PINOCCHIO (starts to leave)- I’m going into the ocean! I’m going to find my father!
JIMINY (grab him) - No, Pinocchio! You will drown!
PINOCCHIO - I’m made of wood. I can swim.
JIMINY - But . . but . . . I can’t, Pinocchio. I can’t swim. I can’t go with you.
JUNK DEALER - Hey, Puppet! You can use that old rowboat on the beach. Joe Fisherman sold it to me after he escaped the sea monster. He says he’s gonna be a shoemaker instead.
PINOCCHIO & JIMINY - Thank you! [EXIT running]
TEACHER - Going into the ocean after a sea monster? What idiots!
THISTLE - So cool! Oh, Mother! I wish I was a puppet!
MOTHER - I hope they make it out alive.
SKY - And bring back Geppetto. [MOTHER & THISTLE & SKY EXIT]
MOTHER- Let’s go home children.
MARKET LADY - Going into the ocean to find a sea monster is a very brave thing to do.
NUTMEG - How do you FIND a sea monster?
FARMER - I’m going to hitch up my wagon and follow that road to Mischief Island.
JUNK DEALER - I’m going with you! [MARKET LADY, FARMER, JUNK DEALER EXIT]
TEACHER - A road to an ISLAND??? A town full of idiots! They should change the name to Idiotville! [EXIT]
NUTMEG - That is the first intelligent thing that teacher has ever said. [ALL EXIT]
STORYTELLER: You can always tell the true character of a person, or insect, by how they behave when the chips are down, when times are hard, when food is scarce, when danger looms!
Instead of blaming some innocent person, or insect . . . a person, or insect, of character will set out to solve the problem!
CLOSE CURTAIN OR BLACKOUT to SPOTLIGHT
# 39 MUSIC: “INDENDED FORCE” (1:46)
-- SET UP OCEAN & SEA MONSTER, as Three Blind Mice dance an ode to hard work and defense using ropes, tools, marching and judo.
SCENE 14: THE SEA MONSTER
--OPEN CURTAIN or LIGHTS UP--
[The Ocean. Waves downstage, midstage and upstage.
JIMINY and PINOCCHIO ENTER from STREET or are already midstage on a raft or boat. ]
PINOCCHIO - Father! Father! Geppetto! Geppetto!
JIMINY - This may be hopeless, Pinocchio. Sharkanto is big, but the ocean is enormous.
PINOCCHIO - Geppetto wouldn’t give up looking for me.
JIMINY - [sigh] I guess you are right. Geppetto! Geppetto!
Hmmm, maybe it isn’t Geppetto we should be calling for.
PINOCCHIO - Who should we be calling for? Oh, I know! Sharkanto! Sharkanto!
JIMINY - Yikes! Look at the waves! I think a storm is picking up. Whoooaa! [Falls in the water]
______# 40 MUSIC: “Jaws Theme” performed as parody (0:50) [ENTER RAVENOUS]
PINOCCHIO - Oops! I almost fell off! [sees] Jiminy! Grab my hand!
[Ad lib reaching for JIMINY but misses him (to build tension) eventually pulls him out]
JIMINY - Thank you, Pinocchio! Crickets can’t swim.
PINOCCHIO - I know! You told me!
JIMINY - That’s funny. That was a big wave but there are no storm clouds.
PINOCCHIO - Sure there are! Don’t you see their reflection in the water?
JIMINY - IN the WATER?
PINOCCHIO (pointing at something slowly circling them) - Sure! Right there!
JIMINY - Oh oh! Shhhhh!
[RAVENOUS circles, only occasionally a fin bobbing up. PINNOCHIO and JIMINY turn, watching.]
# 41 MUSIC: “Ravenous-For Thousands of Years -spoken” (0:23) Or your singer speaks line:
RAVENOUS - For thousands of years, I have hunted and eaten man and his flimsy crunchy-crackly vessels, and I have grown to be the largest creature in the ocean. And now you come to me on a few tied up twigs, a shingle, a soggy cracker. Not even a mouthful, an unsatisfying snack . . .
JIMINY - Pinocchio, I think we found what we are looking for!
PINOCCHIO - Do you mean . . . that. . . is . .
JIMINY - There! No There! There he is! It’s Sharkanto!
RAVENOUS: Ha ha ha ha!
PINOCCHIO: My father is inside that monster????
JIMINY: Is that giant fish. . . laughing?
[MUSIC OPTIONS: If no singer, use “Ravenous-For Thousands of Years” and “I Put Salt on You”. If you have a singer: use “I Put a Spell on You- Instrumental" and she reads Ravenous’s lines.]
______# 42 MUSIC: “I Put Salt on You” (3:34) ---- OR #43 “I Put a Spell on You” – plus your singer.
[a parody of “I Put a Spell on You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins]
RAVENOUS: Sharkanto. Is that what they are calling me now?? Ha ha ha!
I am Ravenous. My desire is Cavernous
[PINOCCHIO: Pleased to meet you. I’m Pinocchio and this is Jiminy Cricket.]
RAVENOUS (sings) - I put Salt on You
Because you’re Mine [JIMINY: Pinocchio! It’s a - a GIRL! ] [ RAVENOUS: And what a girl!]
I need love and affection, like any blood and flesh
But my hunger overtakes me and I like my dinner fresh,
[44 ]
So come into my parlor and have a splash of tea,
I may not be a spider but you look like flies to me
I put Salt on You, Because it’s time to dine
[109]
[PINN: I came to get my father whom you swallowed just last week,
Could you open up and show us? Just a little peek?
JIMI: So, we’re sorry Lady Ravenous, to decline your invitation,
Spit him out you glutton, you aquatic abomination! ]
You won’t stay for a cuddle, a snuggle with the tide?
You can take the shuttle, on a ride to my inside,
[140]
I love you! I love you! on the half shell with brine
I don’t care if you don’t want me, cause you’ll taste just fine,
[155]
I put Salt on You
Because it’s time to dine; [205] I’m not a monster, I’m just hungry.
I’m Ravenous, You’ll be gelatinous;
[217]
[pause in the music]
[PINOCCHIO: I’m going in!
JIMINY: I’ll go with you!
PINOCCHIO: No! You can’t swim!]
[220]
I was born in the Cretaceous, Come inside you’ll find me spacious,
I am Neptune’s feral pet, Play with me, you’ll get wet,
I’m on a Sea Food Diet -- I see food and you die -- It
isn’t me it’s you, because you are swimming in my stew.
[250]
Shamu was an hors d’oeuvre, Do you think you have the nerve?
I’m a big girl in the water, I came to frolic, stayed to slaughter
With a side of sea cucumber, and crunchy shipwreck lumber,
You are not getting any younger; Come inside and ease my hunger!
If I can’t be loved I will be feared is what Franky’s monster said,
I’m not so romantic, If I can’t be loved I will be FED!
[PINOCCHIO dives into RAVENOUS’s mouth. RAVENOUS EXITS spinning JIMINY into an EXIT.]
---BLACKOUT OR CLOSE CURTAIN –
_________#44 MUSIC - “Desperate Journey “ (1:36) (Good for a danger dance to cover set change.)
SCENE 15: IN THE BELLY OF THE BEAST
[Inside Ravenous’ stomach. Lit by one skinny straight down spotlight from Ravenous’ blowhole. Blue watery low front light. The music file has audio ambience of inside a stomach gurgling.
Raft is on rockers, tethered center on a rolling platform, skirted with “water” of the same cloth as the water waves stretching across the stage. Fake fire is on raft, turned off. Geppetto hangs on to mast.
Geppetto is alone, or with Wander, on the raft, gently rocking. Unseen, PINOCCHIO hides behind raft.]
_________#45 MUSIC - “Belly Noise - Heartbeat” use with your singer (up to 8:10 )
or
___# 46 MUSIC - “Belly Noise & Singing” use if you have no singer (up to 8:10)
-- OPEN CURTAIN or LIGHTS UP --
GEPPETTO - Another day . . or is it another week? The waters come in, but there is only one way out -- through Sharkanto’s digestive system
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THE REST OF THE SCRIPT WILL BE IN A PERUSAL THAT YOU REQUEST.
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The following notice must be reprinted in your paper or digital show program:
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MUSIC ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Bright Wish, BadLuckia, Sneaky Snitch, Mysteriosa, Amazing Plan, Laconic Granny, Comedic Juggernaut, Big Fight in the Circus Tent, Comic Hero, Divertissement, Modern Piano Zeta-Impossible, Evil Plan FX, Chasing Mice, Impending Doom, Waltz of Treachery, Gaslamp Funworks, Anachronist, Tenebrous Bros. Carnival, Danse Macabre by Camille Saint Saens, Song of the Volga Boat Men, Indended Force, all are performed and most composed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Music in the public domain:
Blow the Man Down, and What Do You Do to a Drunken Sailor? – both sailor shanties of the 1860’s
Three Blind Mice, by Thomas Ravenscroft
Pop Goes the Weasel, by Miller and Beacham
Where, Oh, Where has my Little Dog Gone? By Septimus Winner, 1864
Classical Music in the public domain:
Brother, Come and Dance with Me, by Englebert Humperdinck, 1893
Ranz des Vaches, from The William Tell Overture, by Gioachino Rossini
I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles, John William Killette, 1919
Danse Macabre, by Camille Saint Saens
Song of the Volga Boatmen, Igor Stravinsky, 1917
You Are My Sunshine, authorship is disputed, by Paul Rice?, Paul Hood?, Jimmie Davis?
Modern Music, performed as parody:
Theme from Jaws, composed by John Williams
I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
Music adapted and performed by Jeannette Jaquish:
I Put Salt on You, parody of I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
The Snackbar Song, lyrics by Jeannette Jaquish, tune inspired by drive-in movie advertisements
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