All about
“Dr. Frankenstreudel’s Lemon Fresh Laboratory of Horrors”
“Sometimes I feel like saying, ‘Fetch your own clotting factor!’”
- Misty, the sickly composite lab rat creature
an absurd sci-fi adventure by Jeannette Jaquish
© 1998 Jeannette Jaquish
SUMMARY: Four squabbling urchins escape a mad doctor, a Julia Child / Frankenstein monster, a sickly lab rat and ravenous zombies. Educational, witty and absurd with lots of action.
COST: 1st performance: $20; Additional: $10 each; or 1 year : $60.
CAST: 2 boys, 2 girls, 4 or 7 adults or big kids
LENGTH: 55 minutes. 5 scenes.
TECH: Medium tech complexity. At least a 3 1/2 foot high platform for graveyard scene. Actors travel thru audience, but not required.
QUOTES: "Those little wretches ruined my best spoons prying the bars of their cages!" -- Eyegore
"They may be mindless, flesh-eating zombies, but they are still your elders." -- Old Man Wellard
Photo from the Firehouse Theater production in Fort Wayne, IN. Also performed at the Red Barn Theater in Tucson, AZ.
Cast of Dr. Frankenstreudel
Optimum: 2 girls, 2 boys, 4 women or girls, 3 men or boys
(All parts except Eyegore may be played by females. All parts except Petunia may be played by boys.)
Alexis (or Alex), appearing to be age 8 to 15, book smart and snobby, but naive. Has some important lines explaining medical concepts, and a tricky chase scene. Wears a prep school outfit.
Dr. Frankenstreudel, female (or male). Seemingly a reasonable dedicated scientist, but her egotistical, obsessed, madness flares easily. Many characterizations will work: sophisticated and intense, wild haired brainiac, or high tech nerd. Wears a lab coat. Takes a tumble in chase scene.
Eyegore, burly male. Horribly scarred by his many surgeries, his current brain has the personality and fashion sense of Edith Bunker or Julia Wild, ditzy, scolding, and obsessed with cleanliness and proper behavior. Wears a frumpy house dress and lady’s make-up over Frankensteinian monster features and scars. Easy lines.
Misty, female or male, older than Ned. Short for experimental mistake, Misty is a mess of various animal and human parts all being attacked by her own immune system. Constantly gagging, coughing and groaning, Misty’s aggressive whining hides her desperation for medicine which drives her to betrayal. But later, conscience stricken, she rises to heroism. She wears a dog nose, rabbit ears, ragged clothes over bulked up parts, leggings with animal hair poking out the holes, and bandages stained with blood and pus. Only one scene with major lines.
Petunia, female, age 9 to 16. Punkish, sarcastic, emotional. Protective of her little brother, Ned. After months in a cage, her clothes are in rags. Tricky lines and actions in the graveyard scene.
Ned, age 6 to shorter by a few heads than Petunia. A little fireball like his big sister, Ned is also perceptive, seeing the simple solution, that the big kids miss. Wears rags and is barefoot (because he kicks Alexis). His lines are simple, but his cues aren’t obvious. Is lifted by his belt.
Winston, same age range as other kids. Winston’s practical point of view and low key bravery contrasts with Petunia’s emotional outbursts. He is a Boy Scoutish character, in fact, a ragged scout suit would be a good costume. Has tricky lines and actions, but fewer than Petunia. Falls on his behind when rug is pulled out from under him
Old Man (or Lady) Wellard. Old Man Wellard is a zombie with his codger values intact. He has a creaky voice, wears a decomposed burial suit and decaying face makeup. He pulls a rope helping Petunia to climb a ladder up to the platform that he performs from. Startling cameo in last scene. Few lines but they’re all good.
Zombies: Mr. Dry Bones, Mrs. Death Breath and Mrs. Rattlewalk, decaying, hungry zombies. No lines except groaning -- perfect for the actors’ parents and also puts them backstage during other scenes to do props and scenery set-up. esides gnawing, drooling, grabbing and stumbling, each zombie has specific actions and cues which are very important to make the graveyard scene coherent, and not a confusing, bumbling mess. In a pinch, DR. F, Eyegore, or Misty can throw on burial rags and a wig and double role as a zombie, as none of them are in the graveyard scene.
Note: Zombies in grave and Winston and Petunia either should all be barefoot or all wear shoes because they will be stepping on each other’s feet.
Dr. Frankenstreudel’s Lemon Fresh Laboratory of Horrors
by Jeannette Jaquish (c) 1998 Jeannette Jaquish
Synopsis and Scenes
SCENE 1: JOB OPENING AT DR. FRANKENSTREUDEL’S LAB
Straight-A student Alexis is just out for an after school job in a science lab. Dr. Frankenstreudel’s companions, Eyegore, a gender confused Frankensteinian monster, and Misty (short for Experimental Mistake), a sickly lab rat-creature, should have set off her suspicions, but too late she realizes the truth. Most girls want a boss who appreciates their brains -- but not for transplant into another skull! Barely squeaking (and fibbing, squirming and clobbering) out an escape,
SCENE 2: ALEXIS’S ESCAPE (in front of closed curtain as the set is changed behind the curtain.)
SCENE 3: THE DUNGEON
. . . Alexis literally stumbles onto three young prisoners in the dungeon, Ned, Winston and Petunia, whose less than appreciative response to their liberation must be excused by cage-induced grumpiness.
The quartet’s internal squabbles don’t dull their basic instincts to stick together and defend each other at all costs. Again and again the themes appear: Just when you think things can’t get worse, they do; and bravery and honor will win in the end.
SCENE 4: THE PANTRY — In the pantry, the kids begin to find the pieces (again literally) of the doc’s horrible intentions, and only escape a second time with a hilarious imitation of body parts.
SCENE 5: THRU THE MAZE — Betrayal sends them back into the doctor’s clutches but Ned’s quick wits allow Petunia and Winston to escape.
SCENE 6: UNLOCKING THE DOOR — Panic almost undoes them.
SCENE 7: GRAVEYARD
But escape to what? A cemetery at night. Not so bad, until they fall into an open grave. Tolerable still, until a decrepit zombie, Old Man Wellard appears at the edge. Then groping zombie arms and two more stages of worse yet. The absolute worst? A lesson in etiquette in the grossest rescue scene imaginable. Another logical, but ridiculous escape, and the pair head back into the doc’s den of horrors to rescue Alexis and Ned.
SCENE 8: THE OPERATION
The operation is nearly underway as Winston and Petunia scout the lab and plan their attack which fails, again by betrayal. Every possible escape brings hope, but fails: a zombie attack on the doctor; damaging the equipment; appealing to Eyegore’s maternal instincts; even a freak (seemingly) electrocution of the doc. As Eyegore lifts the lever re-starting the experiment and its certain death of Ned and Alexis, the most unexpected, yet logical, twist of events brings the story to a poignant, happy ending, .....with a ridiculous twist to end with a chuckle.
And without realizing it, the audience will have learned about the immune system, transplant rejection and electrical circuits.