EXCERPTS from “A Christmas Carol” , by Charles Dickens
“I have to swear too! I solemnly swear not to reveal the bloke who bought the bird!” - The Christmas Morning Boy
Adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish, with great lines for all characters.
OVERVIEW: This Christmas play is based on the original Dickens, plus many new short scenes and characters to give the supporting actors more action and lines. Ebenezer Scrooge has additional hilarious, meaningful, muttering lines and a Narrator telling the story bridges staging transitions.
Jeannette Jaquish has produced this play thrice, and in the process of writing and performing has tweaked and smoothed Dickens' lines to make them easier to memorize and roll off the tongue. Stage directions have been worked out for the many movements of actors and Scrooge in the ever changing locations. Remember, this story was written as a novel, not a play, and its constantly changing locations (Counting House - the Exchange - Scrooge's Home - Cratchit's House - Old Joe's - Street - Nephew Fred's...) are tricky to stage. This is a well-worked script.
Jeannette’s expanded roles with lines include shivering street urchins, shopkeeper, beggars, serving wench, cook, children from Scrooge's childhood and Fred's guests.
In addition, the author is available to re-write scenes or give technical or production advice, by phone or email.
PHOTO from The Firehouse Theater in Fort Wayne.
127 CHARACTERS!
CAST: 44 actor minimum, from Tiny Tim age on up.
All except Scrooge play multiple roles.
18 children
8 teenagers, playing teenagers.
18 adults
Casting charts and Rehearsal Groups are in Tech Notes.
LENGTH: 2 Hours 15 Minutes
COST: $30 first performance, $15 each addtl., $70 for a full year.
CAST & SCENES ORDER THE SCRIPT
STREET URCHINS DISCUSSING WHO TO SING FOR
SNIFFLY The undertaker?
(All shiver.)
ORPHAN I don't like singing for him. He just stands there. Staring.
LITTLEST And rubbin' his hands.
(ALL shiver)
LEADER That's because the city pays him 2 quid for each pauper he buries.
BANDAGE Yeah, we's just a pot o' gold he's waiting to lay hands on.
SNIFFLY How about Mr. Scrooge? He's got plenty of money.
(they all turn to look at Scrooge.)
LEADER Scrooge? He's a skinflint, never gave a pence and never will.
SNIFFLY We gotta sing to someone. If I don't bring home 8 pence my papa will box my ears.
LEADER So sing him on your own. I dare you!
REST OF THE GANG (shoving him forward) Yeah! We dare you!
FEZZIWIG'S CHRISTMAS PARTY
FEZZIWIG (to offstage) Get in here you scalliwags! Its Christmas Eve!
(Other employees MABEL & GRETCHEN ENTER with brooms and sweep up a storm. Office boy TREVOR ENTERS and dances impishly in front of their brooms. They whack his behind when they get a chance.)
MABEL Calling us scalliwags! Do you believe it Gretchen?
GRETCHEN It's a scandal, Mabel! My ears are burning!
MABEL Don't get in our way Mr. Fezziwig!
GRETCHEN Or we'll sweep you right out the door!
MABEL Or anyone else who isn't helping!
(She whacks TREVOR on his rear end.)
TREVOR (rubbing his rear end) They mean it Mr. Fezziwig!
FEZZIWIG Mrs. Fezziwig! Bring out the table dressings!
MRS FEZZIWIG In a jiffy Mr. Fezziwig!
(She ENTERS carrying tablecloths and puts them on tables.)
FEZZIWIG Leave space for the fiddler, my darling!
BUYING THE GOOSE
SCROOGE Oh, it's not for me, my good man! You must deliver it to this address promptly!
(hands him paper)
But under penalty of death you must not reveal who sent it! You must solemnly swear!
(The POULTERER pauses as if unsure that Scrooge really wants him to swear. Then snaps to attention, holding up his right hand as well as he can. Laughing, Scrooge helps hold up the turkey.)
POULTERER I do solemnly swear not to reveal the identity of the sender of this turkey, upon my mother's grave, so help me God.
SCROOGE Please! No talk of graves!
BOY (jumping forward) I have to swear too! I solemnly swear not to reveal the bloke who bought the bird, even if they torture me by pulling out my fingernails or twist my ears or pour boiling oil ...
SCROOGE (slapping his back) Excellent! A most virtuous and brave boy! He'll be a national hero one day! Oh, and your payment! (pays Poulterer)
I presume this is enough (it is way too much) and you must be off immediately...
GENEROUS SCROOGE ON CHRISTMAS DAY
SCROOGE (sternly) Young lady. How many years have you worked at this establishment?
WENCH (instantly terrified) I don't know sir, about 7, since I were 12.
SCROOGE And how many days a week have I come in for dinner.
WENCH Five, sir, Monday through Friday.
SCROOGE And what do I usually spend?
WENCH About 2 shillings, sir.
SCROOGE: And how much do I usually tip?
WENCH (pause): You don't tip.
SCROOGE Exactly!!! Let's see, 7 years, times 52 weeks per year, times 5 days, times 2 shillings, times 15 percent... (writing)
WENCH 546 shillings, sir, or 27 pounds 6 shillings. Are you, are you.... wantin' a refund?
SCROOGE How did you do that?
WENCH Do what? What did I do?? I'm sorry sir, whatever it was.
CRATCHIT IS LATE TO WORK!
SCROOGE Now, I'll tell you what, my friend. Coming in late after I pay you for a day off!
Always shivering and coughing and carrying on! I am not going to stand this sort of thing any longer. And therefore ...
(Scrooge leaps from his chair, and with a flourish that causes CRATCHIT to flinch.)
SCROOGE ... and therefore, I am about to RAISE YOUR SALARY!
(SCROOGE assumes a magnificent pose! Bob gasps, trembles, and backs away from Scrooge, picking up the fireplace poker to use in self-defense. )
NARRATOR Bob Cratchit had the momentary idea of knocking Scrooge down with the fireplace poker, sitting on him and calling to the people in the street for help and a strait-jacket.
SCROOGE WAS AS GOOD AS HIS WORD
NARRATOR (looking up at Tiny Tim) -- I was so small and helpless then.
(to Scrooge) Thank you. You saved me.
SCROOGE Oh, no, Tim. It was you who saved me.
(He shakes hands with Narrator, slightly tilting TINY TIM who squeals in delight and wraps his arms around SCROOGE’s head. SCROOGE laughs and sets TINY TIM down next to NARRATOR -- both center stage.
NARRATOR and TINY TIM look at each other, TIM curiously and then with understanding. SCROOGE watches.
ALL EXIT still singing, except SCROOGE, NARRATOR and TINY TIM.)
TIM -- Am I going to get old?
NARRATOR -- Yes! You are!
(TIM and NARRATOR EXIT holding hands smiling at each other. SCROOGE watches smiling.)
(There is a terrible racket of chains.
MARLEY ENTERS and lifts his hands. His chains fall. )
SCROOGE Marley! You are unfettered!
MARLEY Your good deeds have pushed my account out of the red!
SCROOGE Well, you give good advice!
(Laughing they clap arms over shoulder and EXIT.)
