Auditioning a Ghost

by Jeannette Jaquish, based on the 1883 short story "Selecting a Ghost" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

(c) 2000 - 2019 Jeannette Jaquish

LENGTHS AND PRICES

All versions include tech notes, poster art, and links to beautiful spooky royalty free music.

THREE VERSIONS in medium length:

-- Father & Daughter, 13 to 19 actors, ~70 min.

- - Husband & Wife, 13 to 19 actors, ~70 min.

-- Father, Mother & Daughter 14 to 22 actors, ~75 min. - - - - - Includes 3 more adult females.
SAME PRICE FOR ALL:
$30 first performance, $10 additional performances, $70 for one year.

Excerpts of Father, Mother & Daughter script.

~*~

MUCH LARGER CAST

Father, Mother, Daughter, up to 30 actors, ~85 min.
$50 first performance, $10 additional performances, $90 for one year.

Read Excerpts of Large Cast, Mother as Lead script

------Cast size reduces if you give a few actors multiple parts, explained in the Tech Notes.
------There are 4 optional songs. Lyrics are provided, and links to sheet music & recordings which you acquire yourself. Optional version with 3 Narrators with rhyming lines.


HOW I CAME TO WRITE THIS SCRIPT — Jeannette Jaquish
Arthur Conan Doyle wrote many quality works before and after his Sherlock Holmes stories which eclipsed his other works. Such is the charming and witty "Selecting a Ghost" or "The Ghosts of Goresthorpe Grange." This 1883 story has only recently been easy to find, thanks to the internet. Actually, I had not read the original in 2000 when I wrote the original "Auditioning a Ghost"; I had only read a much simplified, but beautifully illustrated children's book of spooky stories that included it, titled "Mostly Ghostly", by Stephen Zorn. When I finally read the original I was surprised how different my script was from it.
Sir Doyle's story ends with a police report. I have tacked on what seemed to me to be logical consequences: two scenes revealing a poetic justice for the villain plus a disturbing but amusing vision of what lies ahead for the family.

(You could put the above paragraph in your playbill if you wanted some history.)


SYNOPSIS OF THE STORY in ALL VARIATIONS
Despite the new castle, new wealth, new mail order coat of arms, the lady of the house is still pouty. She can't hold her head high at the social engagements of the old money aristocrats that her inheritance has bought her; they all know she is not a bona fide aristocrat because her castle hasn't got a ghost.
Be careful what you wish for, for you might get it. The man of the house indulges her with a bit of illusion, or so he intends, by arranging a little parlor seance to prompt her imagination into creating its own wispy little haunt. Miss Chartreuse Tarantella, mystic gypsy, however, is a better actor than he bargained for and the potion she demands they swallow to "open their eyes to the unseen world" goes beyond his better judgement. This is play-acting, right?
There is plotting among the household staff who see how to take advantage of the situation, frustration of the upright Butler who bristles under his American boss, and a “promising” scene with a talent scout who confidently assures the client that acquiring a ghost is no problem!
Real or illusion, it's a nightmare. Under their potion induced comatose state they are helpless to escape the horrifying auditions of the hideous specters eager to become their house guests. Tales of their bloody, revolting, suffering, decaying lives, deaths, and promised haunts of the ghosts terrify the paralyzed pair until a gentle mournful ghost pleads her entrance. Choosing her breaks the spell and Gladys and her father find themselves suddenly, confusingly alone again in their parlor. But something besides ghosts is missing. As the man is shaken to his senses by his exasperated butler and realizes the truth of Miss Tarantella's abilities to transcend mortal boundaries, he is oblivious to the progressing hysterics of the traumatized lady who still vividly recalls the ghostly auditions.
Were the ghosts real or hallucinations? The final scenes add another twist with a particularly ironic bit of justice and a hint of wishes granted.

Read the original, “Selecting a Ghost” or “The Ghosts of Goresthorpe Grange” by Arthur Conan Doyle.